Hi Floyd,

I said I wasn't going to comment on your songs anymore because you don't need advice or encouragement. But it might still be useful to hear how your creations come across to a variety of people, so to that end, here goes:

1) I really liked the snipped and reused acoustic guitar part that formed a signature motif to begin and end with. Touches like that really do a lot to hide the "automation effect" (for lack of a better term)

2) I also like the way you play with rhyme, sometimes going loose with it, sometimes not, whatever it takes to get a conversational feel.

3) When the piano kicked in at the second verse, I smiled because it was perfect... just what was needed to add a little something new, but not so much as to overpower anything.

4) I agree somewhat with the comment about the lyrics being cryptic... but I don't think that's a bad thing. It makes a song more interesting if you have to think about the lyrics in order to understand the message. Ultimately, it wasn't a message that was too hard to figure out

5) I'm missing something in the part with the red haired boy. At first listen it seemed superfluous to the rest of the story. I'm missing its tie-in with the theme of Peggy's seductive style of success. The only tie-in I can derive is that true love typically begins with some kind of endearing exchange, such as the offering of gloves on a cold day... and in that sense, her lack of response would drive home the point that she wasn't looking for anything as small as gloves or love.

6) You did a very nice job with the strings! Strings can go corny in a heartbeat. Also, RT strings have a way of pasting together in combinations that make good musical sense, but they fail to deliver an emotional appeal. These strings delivered the full emotive payload.. I don't know how much time you spent on them, but it was worth it!

7) it took several listens before I caught on to the point that the best friend in the last verse was same as the best friend in the first verse. I really like information that is implied in the lyrics.


All in all, I thought it was an extremely well crafted song, with all the right elements in all the right places. The time that you've dedicated to the craft of song-writing really shows! I'm glad you're here helping to show what PGMusic products are capable of! You really are a great endorsement for the products and a great contributor to the forum. A lot of what's good about this place is directly attributable to you, and the way you have drawn others out of their shells and created an environment of safety and acceptance where everybody can post their songs without fear of being brutalized.



https://www.dropbox.com/sh/ey71h8ep047758h/AAC12jNM0Hz9Q8zsh5iDeqNHa?dl=0