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Very poetic. The simple arrangement fits such a sad story. I totally agree with you that the great thing about this software is it can follow or take the muse in new directions. I thought your vocal was especially nice.

Josie

Awesome Song Floyd Jane!

Hey, David... have you tried running what you have (the song) through ACW (the Auto Chord Wizard in BIAB)? I imagine, since you sequenced the original tracks, they should be a steady bpm, so ACW should at least give you that. If it doesn't give you the right chords (sometimes does, sometimes a little off), as long as you tell it where beat 1 of the first measure is, you can fix the chords in BIAB and generate new backing tracks to then mix the vocal with in a DAW...




Thanks for the very nice review, Charlie.



Thanks, Steve. The strings are terrific. You can try the Quartet to see if they work in a song, but if they don't, they are also separated out as individual tracks. The cello works in SO many songs you can find yourself putting it in to almost everything...

Richard - appreciate all that. I never thought of this lyric as cryptic... isn't that interesting?... BIAB is incredible...




Thanks, George... that is a nice thing to say....

Floyd,

No, I had not thought of that yet so thanks for suggesting it. It's a great idea and could be a timesaver, too.

David

LOL - thanks, Joanne... that's quite a stretch for a rhyme, wouldn't ya say?....



Ah, Tom... always like to keep you on your toes.. that piano is one of my favorite BIAB tracks...I use it a bunch - it's very versatile...and. of course...that cello! it fits everywhere... thanks for the nice review...
Oh..almost forget... it was both - hands and heart...

Hi Floyd,

I said I wasn't going to comment on your songs anymore because you don't need advice or encouragement. But it might still be useful to hear how your creations come across to a variety of people, so to that end, here goes:

1) I really liked the snipped and reused acoustic guitar part that formed a signature motif to begin and end with. Touches like that really do a lot to hide the "automation effect" (for lack of a better term)

2) I also like the way you play with rhyme, sometimes going loose with it, sometimes not, whatever it takes to get a conversational feel.

3) When the piano kicked in at the second verse, I smiled because it was perfect... just what was needed to add a little something new, but not so much as to overpower anything.

4) I agree somewhat with the comment about the lyrics being cryptic... but I don't think that's a bad thing. It makes a song more interesting if you have to think about the lyrics in order to understand the message. Ultimately, it wasn't a message that was too hard to figure out

5) I'm missing something in the part with the red haired boy. At first listen it seemed superfluous to the rest of the story. I'm missing its tie-in with the theme of Peggy's seductive style of success. The only tie-in I can derive is that true love typically begins with some kind of endearing exchange, such as the offering of gloves on a cold day... and in that sense, her lack of response would drive home the point that she wasn't looking for anything as small as gloves or love.

6) You did a very nice job with the strings! Strings can go corny in a heartbeat. Also, RT strings have a way of pasting together in combinations that make good musical sense, but they fail to deliver an emotional appeal. These strings delivered the full emotive payload.. I don't know how much time you spent on them, but it was worth it!

7) it took several listens before I caught on to the point that the best friend in the last verse was same as the best friend in the first verse. I really like information that is implied in the lyrics.


All in all, I thought it was an extremely well crafted song, with all the right elements in all the right places. The time that you've dedicated to the craft of song-writing really shows! I'm glad you're here helping to show what PGMusic products are capable of! You really are a great endorsement for the products and a great contributor to the forum. A lot of what's good about this place is directly attributable to you, and the way you have drawn others out of their shells and created an environment of safety and acceptance where everybody can post their songs without fear of being brutalized.

Since brevity is the soul of wit, I'll try to be succinct.

Love the dark quality of this one. Really captured the torment.



Regards,

Bob

Thanks, Guenter. Always appreciate your support and positive comments...



Thanks, Greg. Glad ya dropped by...



Other Greg... LOL... That's a delightful review in a few sentences... Uses words wisely = songwriter... which brings me to... where is your next???



Fred - I appreciate you coming by for a listen...and the nice comments...

Floyd,

That was beautiful.
Such a sad song but the arrangement and your voice made it work.

wonderful

Alyn

Rob and Anne-Marie - Thanks, y'all! Appreciate that...



Thanks, ROG... sometimes, you just have to do a sad one, ya know...



Thanks for the listen, Josie....



TOmmy - ALWAYS good to see you drop by!!!

This has a sadness to it a la Prine at his best. Many producer/arrangers would have buried it in lushness but you amplified the feel by the "no meat on the bones" production. And the vocals? Well, on an arrangement like this you had better have
the chops because there is no where to hide. We can't imagine it being delivered by anybody else. Your voice milks every bit of the emotion w/o getting into the "overwrought mode."

We are in awe of it all -- vocals, the write, arrangement and production. Something to aspire to.

Bud and Janice

Pat - I would miss reading your comments regarding the songs I post...this provides a perfect example why. You bring a unique perspective and an insight that takes a song discussion to places that others seldom go... that's a good thing...


And I think pointing those things out are important. Some might not ever even think of doing that. But it is a fairly easy thing to do (in you DAW) and can give a song an identity without much effort. I play this song (on guitar) with a similar "lick" that repeats throughout the song as I play. My initial intent was to record that lick to add to the mix. But when I heard this figure played by the acoustic RT, I realized I could use it instead - and it saves me having to set up for the recording...


It always has to "fall on the ear" correctly. Without bumps. Sounding natural. Half the battle. If you aren't willing to do that from the start, all the fancy processing in the world won't cover it up...


Chalk that up to the astounding capabilities of BIAB. There are so many choices that if you keep looking, you can almost always find what is required. As I've said before, I've used this same piano track in many songs - in many different ways....


It is very interesting for me to hear you (and Richard) say this. I'm sure you are aware that I'm not one to typically write "cryptic" lyrics. But I understand (usually) those who do. In this case, the song is based on actually events/people - and the lines all have specific meanings. I guess it harkens back more to listening to Joni Mitchell than Alan Jackson...


I'd say that you didn't "miss" anything at all. You defined it pretty well. It is intended to be somewhat "dream-like" - recalling the past - a time of innocence - when her path might have included that love that was being offered... the fact that she does not - or cannot - respond says that there may be a void of some kind that can't or won't be filled...


Thanks for noticing! Using the individual String RTs made this fall into place fairly quickly. The cello is always good - and usually a good one to start with. By adding the viola next - a few beats later - and then the 2 violins - another few beats later, it provided the perfect build there (and that dream-like sense that was needed. I hope that PGMusic continues to add to this collection!!!



I kind of like that it takes some thought to pick that up...


Thanks for all the nice comments (and your insights). This is a terrific community - and it is the combination of the personalities making it up that make it what it is... you are a big part of that...

(PS - I liked the discussion that was here - that no longer is - it was a valid point and I would have gladly addressed it)

Floyd, I removed that observation because I realized it was a function of my mood not a function of your song. In fact, on subsequent listens, I perceived the song differently than I did when I wrote the comment that got removed.

But, if you want to post the removed observation and comment on it, I'm OK with that.



regarding "cryptic lyrics"
By that I just mean that they aren't so simple that no interpretation is required. You think about every word you write, and I think it is the listener's responsibility to put an equal amount of thought into understanding what your words are saying. If I don't understand something until the 6th listen, that probably means that there are layers of meaning, and I only picked up on the obvious layers the first few times through.

I guess to some, the word "cryptic" means "obfuscated" or "intentionally obscured in meaning". That's not how I mean it. I mean it in the sense that your meaning is not encoded, but there is still a certain amount of discovery required.

Floyd,

A beautiful sad song... Great lyrics, mix and outstanding vocal.

Bob

Thanks, Bob.... you are soulful and witty..I liked this part, too...
Edited by 90 dB (02/22/15 01:38 PM)
Edit Reason: Spelllling




Thank you, Alyn...

Well... heck... y'all are too nice... (thanks!)



Thanks, Bob. Appreciate you stopping by...

Just a super arrangement! Great song!