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Dan,

I'd say you've got a pretty good start for a guy who has only done 5 lyrics. LOL... Your chorus is quite clever...

The mix is good - and a good grouping of instruments. The little bit of drop in volume at the chorus is "noticeable" - just slightly - and probably not necessary....

floyd


Thanks, floyd. Your kind words are much appreciated. It is just my fifth lyric, and I'm not sure I should really count one of my previous songs, as it was a song about toilet paper. grin

Thanks for your comment re: the chorus, too. I wasn't really sure how to approach this subject, but one night just as I was falling asleep it occurred to me that Muriel was also a person's name as well as the name of a lake (Duh!), and maybe I could approach it from that angle. I had kind of a late night after having this thought, as I got out of bed and wrote the basic tune.

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Hi Dan,

You have an incredibly well developed sense of melody. I found the musical journey absolutely delightful.

I also congratulate you on your fifth lyric! I only began writing lyrics a dozen or so years ago (after decades of playing) so I can understand where you're at. The best thing that happened to me on the lyric front was that I went to a Pat Pattison seminar. I've never looked back since then.

If you're interested in developing your lyric skills further, Pat has a course at...

https://www.coursera.org/course/songwriting

...that starts on April 21. The cost is $free smile

I highly recommend it.

All the best,
Noel


Thank you very much, Noel. I do believe I'm blushing a bit now. blush
I think some of my melodic sense comes from being a jazz fan/student. Jazz is all about composing instant melodies on the spot. Or it could be just dumb luck. smile

Thanks for the tip about the lyrics course. It definitely looks interesting to me, but so far it looks like the summer is going to a busy time for me with not much time for music. If it's still available in the fall I am most definitely interested. The link is now in my bookmarks.

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very well done. you have a fluid cadence with the lyric and melody. and the lyrics roll off the tongue and are not forced. and your use of realtracs is top notch

much enjoyed

Thanks very much, gruverider. I am having a blast with the Realtracks. They are great fun, indeed!

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Hi Dan,

congrats on your number five.
A nice country song.
Enjoyed the listen.

Guenter


Glad you enjoyed it, Guenter. Thanks!

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Dan, If this is #5, I can't wait to hear what comes next. You have a great start on this songwriting path. Nice melody and very well put together. I enjoyed it. Tom


Thanks, Tom. I've done some composing in the past, but not really anything that wasn't an instrumental. This lyrics thing is harder than it looks, but I'm finding it quite rewarding.

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Very sweet!! One thing songwriters overlook sometimes in their obsession with analysis is the simple question: How does this song feel to me? Well, this one feels really good!! It is sweet, pleasant, and just darn listenable. Great job!! Take care. Greg


Thank you very much, Greg.

Thanks for listening,
Dan

Last edited by big741; 04/18/15 12:43 PM.