A lot of you know I'm a tax guy working at a CPA firm. We get crap calls all the time. In a previous life I was a very aggressive and well trained car salesman and life insurance agent. I know how to sell.

If I'm not busy I'll turn the call right around and try to sell the guy a car.

They'll start to talk about whatever crap it is and I'll listen and go oh, that sounds nice, and at the right moment I'll suddenly say "Hey, let me ask you something" in my best smooth car salesman tone, what kind of car do you have? What? "Seriously what kind of car do you drive?" Uh, a Honda. "Do you like it?" "Is it a Civic or Accord?" Do you know I can get you into a brand new Civic for zero down and a hundred and a half per month? Uh, wait I..."No really, seriously where do you live?" "I can broker a new car anywhere and have it delivered right to you door." "What kind of credit do you have?" "Married?" "Any kids?" "Know anybody who might like a new car?" "How about your mother?" "What does she drive"

I can rapid fire off questions like that until he doesn't know where the hell he is.

He finally hangs up and I have the office in tears. Now when one of those calls come in and I didn't answer it my buddy will say "Bob, here's one for you, tear him up". Sometimes I'm busy and can't but if I can it's great fun. What's life if you can't have some fun? I love screwing with these guys.

One time the two man team comes by my door selling magazine subscriptions. It's the somewhat older but still young guy with his high school trainee reading from the script. I let him go and then suddenly reached out and grabbed the script and said "you did ok with this but you really need to put more emphasis here and I showed him the line. You're not trying hard enough, nobody's going to go for a presentation like this. It's obvious you don't have this memorized yet." "Look, do it like this" and I read from the script, quite well if I may say so, and I'm selling him. I became his sales manager giving him crap for not doing his job properly. I then turned to his trainer and said, "Well, what do you think?" I swear he laughed and said I should have you out with me.

I got them completely off track and now we're talking about sales training and I finally bid them good by and good luck. Some of you won't like this but sales 101 requires no matter what happens you turn it around and try for the close. They never did that, they just left. Amateurs.

Bob

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