Hi, Noel.

There are a lot of great things in the song, but as Dan noted, the chorus is particularly nice. The build into the final chorus is also quite good.

I like way you structured the song, setting up the story, and then bringing in the listener to the story to "be a bridge."

Good stuff.

Onto the nits! wink The lyric:

Such a fearsome beast with those horns at the end of his nose

didn't work for me, perhaps because because any lyric ending with at the end of his nose is problematic.

The transition at 1:00 felt a bit forced.

I figured you'd be going with an interesting rhyming scheme, and you did. It worked for lots of other folk, but... not so much for me. I had to go back and read where the rhyme was, rather than feel it. This lyric felt like it was trying to stuff too much in:

So far luck's been a friend and kept him hidden from their callous campaigns

I bring these up not because they're huge flaws (they aren't), but because I know you think a lot about your writing, so hopefully this is a bit useful.

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?