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Hi Alyn.

Outstanding! The B-section took me unawares and made me sit-up and pay attention. That was a very clever arrangement strategy. You are a master at presenting the unexpected!

I notice that you mentioned "America". When it comes to non-rhyming songs, you've picked one of the classics!

Whenever I hear a song that doesn't rhyme and it works beautifully without the rhyme, I always ask myself, "How has this been accomplished? Why does it work?" That's how it was with "Time Runs Out". I'm still pondering those questions now as I type. You've done it incredibly well!

A little more information on not rhyming...

For what it's worth, a song doesn't have to have lyric rhymes to be musical. Rhymes are one way of adding musicality to words but there are other ways, too. For example, Ira Gershwin never shied away from taking a non-rhyming approach when writing lyrics for George's melodies if that's how it worked out. Have a look at the following sections of lyrics for "I Got Rhythm". I've highlighted the rhymes so that it's easier to identify them.

Quote:
Here's Ella singing...

Ella Fitzgerald: I Got Rhythm

Here are the lyrics...



Notice that in Section B, the section that is the memorable and defining section of the song, there are no rhymes. The only 'nearly a rhyme' comes from repeating line 4 as line 8.

It's also worth noting the following...

1. Ira used a very heavily rhymed section to lead into a non-rhyming section. This is guaranteed to make the non-rhyming section stand out.

2. The first 6 lines of Section A have a very sophisticated 3-line rhyme scheme that pulls lines 1 and 2 together by rhyming both(!) in the third line. How cool is that!

3. Section C with its XAAB rhyme scheme is left hanging unclosed from a rhyming perspective. This drives this section headlong back into the repeat of Section B.

4. The lyric comes to a close when the unrhymed and hanging word "door" in Section C meets its aural complement "more" at the end of the repeated Section B. This produces a satisfying sense of completion.

Summarising... after very heavily rhyming the introductory Section A, Ira is minimalistic with his use of rhyme for the rest of the lyrics. He also does not have any rhymes in the lyrics of the song's signature section (Section B) except for the final line of lyrics rhyming with the final line of Section C. At no time do any Section B lines rhyme with other Section B lines.

"Why do these lyrics of Gershwin's work? How has Gershwin added musicality to words without using rhymes?" are very eye-opening questions to think about!



Seems like you're in good company!

After all that, I'm now heading back for another listen to your excellent work!

All the best,
Noel




MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2026
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Originally Posted By: Rob4580
I really enjoyed this Alyn.
Good work sir.
Rob


Thank YOU, Sir.
thanks for listening and comenting, oh and calling me Sir blush I shall wear my jacket with the fake ermine collar today with pride laugh

all the best mate

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Really nice song Alyn!! I like the sparse arrangement and great build in the B section. Very heartfelt lyrics and wonderful vocal delivery. Really nice effort all around. Enjoyed it A LOT!! Take care. Greg


Thank you so much, Greg. Such a sad subject needed the angry loud bit in the middle.
I am so glad you liked it a lot

all the best

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: Janice & Bud
That one wrings out every drop of
the emotion involved with this
issue. Powerful write that is
well delivered. Greg nailed the
word "heartfelt."

BTW, Janice has asked me a
zillion times why must it always rhyme?
Thanks for making me realize how
just well a song can work sans
a rhyme structure.

Great work.

J&B


Coming from you Sir, that is praise indeed. Especially as the song just sorta appeared and as I have said in my previous replies, I never noticed that there wasn't any rhyme.

thanks a lot

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: dcuny
Nice write! I liked the way you moved from thinking to a call to action, which is a really the whole point of this sort of song.


I never noticed that there was no rhyme and I definitely didn't notice the "call to action" either!!! There is something wrong with me blush crazy but then I wrote the song having googled the sorry state of affairs so I wrote from the heart.

Thanks for pointing that out and for enjoying, if that is a word I can use for this horror, the song

best wishes

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: RnAM
Hi Alyn,

Very cool song! We especially like the part
you try hard not to cry...
............deserve to go
Nice vocals there. Would have been nice to do it again at the end.

Rob and Anne-Marie


Yes I did think of that but I wanted the song to be 3 minutes or so, I had already cut out a verse with a nylon guitar solo which re-appears towards the end of the last verse as a response to my vocals.
I am so glad you liked my angry bit.

thanks for listening and commenting

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: Noel96
Hi Alyn.

Outstanding! The B-section took me unawares and made me sit-up and pay attention. That was a very clever arrangement strategy. You are a master at presenting the unexpected!

I notice that you mentioned "America". When it comes to non-rhyming songs, you've picked one of the classics!

Whenever I hear a song that doesn't rhyme and it works beautifully without the rhyme, I always ask myself, "How has this been accomplished? Why does it work?" That's how it was with "Time Runs Out". I'm still pondering those questions now as I type. You've done it incredibly well!
etc....

Seems like you're in good company!

After all that, I'm now heading back for another listen to your excellent work!

All the best,
Noel




WOW thank you.
I have ALWAYS wanted for you to dissect one of my songs, as you have just done. I have great respect for your knowledge and your ability to explain it all is impressive. You MUST be a good, nay excellent, teacher, Sir.

That sounds trite in writing but if I said those words to you in person my body language would easily show my respect for you.

Thank you, Noel. I am humbled.

oh I now have "I got rhythm" STUCK in my brain, what a great song!

thanks again and all the best.

Alyn

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Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Alyn,

A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.

The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.

Well done all around.

floyd


Yeah. I was immediately drawn in to the music and the great vibe of this before I noticed anything different about the rhyming scheme or lack thereof. Impressive indeed. Excellent production.

Good luck with this.


My stuff:
https://soundcloud.com/scott-h-olson
https://www.youtube.com/@ScottHOlson

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Originally Posted By: olemon
Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Alyn,

A good write. If Tom had not mentioned it the fact that there are no rhymes slipped by... impressive. impressive.

The balance between drums, bass, acoustic and vocal in the verses is perfect.

Well done all around.

floyd


Yeah. I was immediately drawn in to the music and the great vibe of this before I noticed anything different about the rhyming scheme or lack thereof. Impressive indeed. Excellent production.

Good luck with this.


Thanks Scott, as I have also said even I didn't notice there was no rhyme and I wrote it LOL
Thank you for the good luck I will pass them to Joanne (JosieC) because without her this song would not have been written

All the best

Alyn

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