Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Kenny,

I like the stuff you are doing - always a lot to like.

The production/instrumentation on this is good.
I'll throw in with Alyn on the reverb and/or hi EQ - a "darker" vocal sound would work better on this.

I don't often get into the lyrics here - but I will here (there's always a but isn't there? - and maybe that needs another t smile ) because I like your writing...

"My cards are all on the table
With nothing up my sleeve
And I’ve got no plans to fold
If that’s what you believe"

The third line of this pulls the rest of it down - making it sound cliché.
You don't need to "card reference" (meaning "fold") - even though your title is "All The Aces" (cool title) - ALL THE ACES stands on its own and doesn't need to be explained. I would suggest (and that is all it is) that you change "With" to "There's" so that "There's nothing up my sleeve" is a separate thought from "My cards are on the table". Both of those lines can be considered cliché but used in context are not - I think they work here - A strong new thought in the 3rd line would transform this verse...

Feel free to ignore all of this, of course...

floyd


Man, I almost wrote in my notes that the song was full of card cliches!, honest. I really appreciate your input. I guess I posted it so someone would tell me to get off my arse and redo it better. I don't remember writing it except for the inspiration and I'm sure that I didn't bother to critic it much being happy that I filled in the parts and got to the meat of the song (bad excuse).
A strong new thought on the third line, very good advice (take a sad song and make it better). I appreciate this, it's better than just trashing the song and saying it was failed effort. I should've had you for my co-writer. Thanks for the listen and kind words.
Kenny