I had copied this before I saw Floyd' comments, so I included it anyway. Great emotional impact in a handful of words-that's the way to do it Kenny!! This is a great write. I love the way their physical separation is a metaphor for their emotional distance. The "story" aspect is brief but it is all the listener needs to grab on to the emotion. Paul Simon did a wonderful thing with physical versus emotional distance with "Slip-sliding Away". I imagine you know the tune but if you don't you should check it out. This is another excellent write! Take care. Greg[/quote]

Greg, you're a gentleman and a scholar (you are a scholar right?)
You got the soul of this right away, I never understood when I would read about famous song writers talking about throwing out words and lines until you have the only the words that effectively tell the story and is only what you mean to say. (It was something like that.) I had many more lines and phrases in this that weren't necessary to tell this simple story, maybe I'll use them for another song. I don't know why I'm giving an amateur's advice on writing but there you go. I love me some Paul Simon, I don't know why but that is one of my least favorite songs of his, maybe it was played too many times on radio. Thank you for your kind words
sir, I look forward to your next song.

Kenny