Tom,

Because I love this song so much I am going to take you up on the suggestion offer:

I love the lines:

"She took a little piece of who I am
on a bus back to Birmingham..."

Incredibly strong hook. It is SUCH a great hook I think, that you might want to try and get to it sooner.

It is the thematic molten center of the song but it doesn't come in until 1:37.

It is such a classic chorus idea that you may want to try and get to it at 60 seconds or so after an intro and 8 bar verse. The Chorus Energy really comes in big time a :47 and you're kind of expecting it. Maybe you could move the "softly she said part..." to verse two and otherwise restructure the lyrics (all of which are great) to tightly surround the "took away a piece of me" Chorus? That is hot dang chorus and I think the whole song should revolve around it and support it. Form: Intro, ABAB, Bridge, B, Outro.

I am only one person but I think this could be a true country classic, the "Birmingham" Chorus is that strong. Also you may trying squeezing in "took a little piece of me away" to emphasize the taking away aspect--it is gone, she took it, you no longer have it.

Also, the theme and imagery on this one are so strong, you could do it as a hard rock style with slamming acoustics and do a whole 'nother take on "Took away a piece of who I am, back home on a bus to Birmingham." I can totally hear it has a highly driven rock country song with that chorus. Radio ready man.

Well, those are my thoughts and I am only giving them because this one really got me by the ears. Love it. Great job.

David Snyder
Songwriter/Renaissance Man
Studio + Fingers

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