OK... so I'm being lazy... thanks to everyone for the comments....

Gibson, SRP, PeterF, David.

Floyd
Quote:
Good that you are experimenting to find something new. You might consider not using the same image so often in such a small space - "hold her" 3 times in the first 6 lines and "moonlight" in your chorus right after using it in the verse. You also might consider changing "On my knees" to "On one knee" - those conjure different images... The fact that you're waiting and she's waiting sort of leaves no one doing anything (except waiting). Just some thoughts.


But, but, but... he's young and in love and really really wants to "hold her".....

and it is at night..... in the moonlight.....

good point on the knee thing..... I'll give you that one.

Waiting.......... he's waiting to get there... but traveling to where she's actually waiting in the interim, Her waiting is of the stationary kind....his is for a passing of time..... not the same thing....

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.