PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase My first posting. Original song. 'Going Down Hard'

https://soundcloud.com/user-795775072/going-down-hard

Title: GOING DOWN HARD

Original lyrics
All instrument tracks recorded in BIAB.
Vocals and final mixdown in Cubase 6.5

BIAB Settings
Key=Db , Tempo 120, Length (m:s)=5:42
No intro. 168 bar chorus, from bar 1 to bar 168. Repeat x1 chorus
Song is saved with Volume, Pan, Reverb, Chorus, Bank0,
Style is _POPOMSL.STY (Med-Slow Pop Ballad w/ Organ)
RealTracks in style: ~~684:Bass, Electric, PopHalfNotesSync Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~522:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~405:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 120
RealTracks in style: ~~686:Organ, B3, Background Pop Ev 120
RealTracks in song: 2024:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm CountryJohn Ev 085
RealTracks in song: 2040:Guitar, Resonator, Soloist CountryRob Ev 120
RealDrums in style: NashvilleEven8^5-a:Snare, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride

Hi John,

Welcome to Users Showcase!

You've written a terrific song. I really like the lyrics, the melody, the backing and the chord progression you've used. To ice cake, you've got a very easy-to-listen-to voice and know how to use it well. My only criticism is that on my system, the vocals, sat significantly forward in the mix. If you ever revisit mixing this song, it would be worth experimenting with the vocal volume.

Personally, I find mixing incredibly challenging. One of the best tricks I've learned is, when I think everything is perfect, I put my song away for 48 hours and don't listen to it. When I come back to it after the break, it's very easy to hear what needs to be adjusted. I repeat this process until everything is in place.

Overall though, this is a first class write!

All the best,
Noel

Hi John ...

Welcome to the Showcase ... good to have you!

Great song. The backing tracks are so smooth and perfect for the song ... Excellent selection of instruments and styles.

I do agree with Noel that the vocal is a little forward (loud) in the mix. You have a great voice ... let it blend in with those great backing tracks. Let your great voice compliment your backing tracks rather than seeming to compete with them. Just our opinion, FWIW.

Looking forward to ore from you. Have a great 2016. Also, nice song to intriduce yourself.

Alan & Di

John, Welcome also.

I really liked the song, although I agree with Noel that the vocals sits a little too much out front.

Great lyrics, and structure. Well presented. A Fantastic effort actually.

Trev

Thank you Noel, Trev, Alan and Di:

I very much appreciate the welcome, and the comments.

Aside from the writing and singing, there is certainly an art to mixing. I agree the vocals are forward. I consider myself more a story teller than a commercial ‘song-writer’ and I get so fed up of straining to hear lyrics over booming and thumping instrumentation these days that I purposefully brought the vocals forward. I guess, perhaps a little TOO far forward 

I shall experiment more with mixing.

Thanks guys

John

Welcome to the BIAB forum and a pretty good first posting. It certainly seems you are open to constructive criticisms, so here's mine (ha, ha). As always, it is your song and you have to make yourself happy first. If you don't want to change this one, maybe consider some of this stuff for the next one.

1.) Good singing voice and vocal performance, for sure (see criticism can be positive, too)
2.) Yea, vocal is way too loud compared to the backing instruments -- easily fixed!
3.) If you listen to your favorite artists, you will notice (in a full band setting) that different instruments are sometimes (usually?) featured in every new verse. That way there is variety to the listener's ear. I forget this one all the time and then when I listen to "reference" tracks, I always go "dang, I missed that one again!".
4.) I would look for some way to vary the verses and choruses (or refrains) from each other to make each section stand out more. Your verses and chorus seem too similar to each other.
5.) Nice dobro solo section
6.) To me, 5:48 is just too long. You could easily cut 1:30 to 2 minutes from this tune -- and lose none of the impact message. This is always a controversial critique, so do whatever you want to do and many will disagree with me.

I hope I didn't dump too much on you at once, but when I hear good stuff I like to think what could make it even better.

Nice write and nice story. Welcome to the forum. Enjoyed your song and I'm looking forward to hearing more from you this year. The others have stated it well, this is a really nice first post.

Welcome, John!

Excellent first post. The instrumentation is nicely done and the vocal is well done. As others have mentioned, it needs to sit in the mix a little...

Since you are a "storytelling songwriter", it would be nice to see the lyrics posted to follow along... some nice writing in there...

floyd

Hi John, welcome to the forum. I enjoyed your song and you are a good storyteller. I like your choice of instruments and your voice is very smooth. Good first post!
Sonny

Hi John,

welcome to the forum.
It's all been said.
Enjoyable listen.

Guenter

Welcome to the showcase John! This is really nicely done!! Great writing, and great feel. I think Kemmrich makes some good suggestions. I would also process the vocal differently, and other instruments as well. I think the phasing on the vocal doesn't match the organic feel of the song. Other instruments could use some reverb. Really, really nice song! Take care. Greg

Welcome! Nice first post here. The write works well
with your vocal and like Greg said, "great feel."

I understand your feeling
about vocals being buried but there is a mix sweet spot
that depends on the song (and your effects) to find. I
struggle a lot with it but when some folks tell me Janice's
vocal is a bit too forward and others say it needs to come up
a bit I know I've hit that spot.

Enjoyed this and hope to hear more.

Hi John Loved your vocal and lyrics. Well done and welcome to the forum

Let me start by saying Howdy and welcome.

You have a talent for writing that will fit well here.

I like story songs and tend to write quite a few in that style myself.

A few things stuck out to me that you should have a look at.

You have three and a half minutes to tell your story in a country song. Four minutes is the drop dead do not cross imaginary line. Well according to most writers.... unless you are with the Iron Butterfly, the Beatles, or Arlo Gutherie. The rest of us should try to get in, tell the story and get out between 3.5 to 4 minutes max. Less is better. Yes, even when, as you state, you're not trying to write commercially. One song in particular that I wrote, Come & Go... (on my website) started life with 4 verses a chorus, and a bridge and clocked in at just over 5 minutes. With the guidance of some other writers (in Nashville) I chipped away and hacked away all the filler and unnecessary parts until I got to where the song currently sets @ 3:40 to the last chord fade. Now days, I try not to exceed the 4 minute mark. My goal, ideally, is to be somewhere around 3 minutes and a few seconds. Aside from the "I'm not writing to the commercial market" excuse...that's all well and good..... but...... lots of folks start to tune out on the song when it goes past that 3.5 to 4 minute point. It's human nature. We bore easily. So... boil it down to it's essence.... keep the essentials, and discard the filler and paint that picture in about 3:30 total running time. your listeners will appreciate it more. The hardest thing for me was keeping the guitar solo's short. After all, I'm a guitar player and I want to play. Song before ego.

Vocals... your voice is good. You have a nice country sounding voice. The mix point on the vocal was too far upfront and loud. It could easily be somewhere around 10dB to 12dB or so lower and fit better. At that level, it will set well in the mix and still have crisp and clearly discernible lyrics.

Second thing with the vocals.... don't use FX on them. In fact, don't use ANY FX on vocals that alters the sound. (An exception might be a period song that needs a slap-back echo.) I can clearly hear phase shifting on the vocal throughout the song. Simply run the vocals dry with the exception of some light reverb to soften the edges. I hear lots of folks in other forums trying to us FX to "improve" the quality of their vocal track. It doesn't. The better option is to work on getting a really nice, solid, well recorded, natural vocal. People use, and hide behind FX of all sorts and levels, because they don't think their natural voice sounds good. But trust me when I say we don't hear your voice in the same context as you do. There are ways to thicken and fatten your vocals with out FX if that's absolutely necessary. But for now, just work on recording a natural sounding vocal track with a slight touch of reverb.

All in all, a good start to the forum on your first post. I'm looking forward to hearing more music from you.

John, I really like this. You have a really good voice. Try to do the next one with very little processing on the vocal like Herb said. The write is very good with some great lines. It does seem a bit long. I hope you continue to work on your mixing, you certainly have the writing and vocal chops. Very Nice. Tom