Re: Song number 3
The Time to Look

This is another good recording and a good mix.
Also a good write. Good subject/idea for a write.

A few things to "take a look at"...

"You just dont recall" does not need the "just" - it gives you a slight "bump" (what Charlie was referring to on an earlier one) and would "sing better" without it. A little thing, but "how it falls on your listener's ear" is of ultimate importance. Elsewhere throughout the song you have done a good job of dropping the "unnecessary" words..

"All her hopes and dreams...Never bothered you at all" - again, you do not need the "All" (at the beginning) - it is stronger without and will "sing better"

"You never lost out on your sleep
You never asked her why"
Here, you did drop the "you" from the front of both of these when you sang it. Perfect.

"time to let another man
try lead her to the stars"
This gets a little "bumpy". You can drop "man" and you can drop "try" to become...
"time to let another
lead her to the stars" - - "another" implies a person. and dropping "try" tells a better story... you could not do it, but another will..

This is a very good write.

You could change the title to "An Unread Book". (It doesn't always have to be the last line).

fj








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