Bob,

Your voice and beatbox with the arrangement sound great on this. One of the best mixes I've heard you do.

If I'd only heard this song without reading your description/setup of it first the lyrics switching from third to first person are confusing - otherwise I really like the lyrics. Option one, I think if you'd actually add "and she'd say" or "she said" at least once before your hook tagline the lyrics would be more cohesive. (Option two would be to say "her world" changing the singer to some sort of significant other.) Feel free to use or toss - just trying to be helpful. smile

Great sounding track.

Youtube Channel
Soundcloud