PG Music Home Forums General Discussion User Showcase Too Dangerous - w Tom & Janice

Thanks, Alan ....hope you are feeling better....

Thanks, Josie. Appreciate all of that... I listened to the ahhs with what you said in mind... I would not change the level for them if I were to re-do this....




Thanks, David - appreciate that...

well, I thought I commented on this when you first posted it, but I don't see the evidence, so here goes again...

Happy birthday a couple of weeks late to two really amazing people who also happen to be amazing song writers. One advantage of membership in a forum like this is the ability of commoners like me to form friendships with heavy hitters like everybody who was involved in this project!

On one level, the song was a bit hard to listen to because the woman in the song sounds like my son's ex wife who still manages to influence his life unfavorably long after their separation. What is it that makes us long for the people and things that are most likely to hurt us?

Anyway.. I especially liked the line about "box of crazy" because it fits the story within the story, if you catch my drift.

Lots of great cooperation in this project, with Janice doing what she does so well, Tommy playing a guitar line that perfectly fits the song, and Floyd weaving a story garment that seems to fit everybody. As usual.

One thing I like about this groups collaborations is that they are always so clean and functional, with nobody trying to outdo anybody else... team players cranking out good stuff consistently.

Hats off to Floyd, Tom and Janice! As always, I am impressed!

Pat - I do hope you are well and happy. Always enjoy reading your thoughts on a song.... Unfortunate that this one had to hit so close to home. Appreciate you droppin' by for a bit...

Its all been said buddy. You are a master song writer.
Well done.
Rob

First a belated happy birthday to you and Tom.

Second all three of you should be exceptionally proud of this one. Floyd is one hell of a story teller and singer, Tom is one hell of a guitarist and Janice is one hell of a singer. You three are dynamite alone but kick butt together.

This is a keeper.

Ahhh cool... I get to be the 1,000th view Such a nice, round number.

Hi floyd,

Before I say anything else, I want to congratulate you and Tom on your birthdays. Sorry I'm so late to the party.



I hope you don't mind, but as I sit here typing, my mind seems to be zigzagging through a number of thoughts. Since I need some sustained touch-typing practice, I thought I'd share those thoughts

• Music related thoughts...

I love this piano intro. Those suspensions and dissonances in the chords are sensational and the EZ Keys TruePiano is brilliant. If you hadn't said anything, I would never have known that this was midi.

In addition, the ad lib and solo instrument nature of the intro set a perfect musical tone (hmmm... that could have been a pun, it was unintentional though) for what is to follow. For me, the intro set the scene for a song that is going to be reflective. As a listener, it felt very satisfying when the hint of rhythm kicked in at 0:41 Soundcloud-time. Then when the drums entered and rhythm fully stabilised at 0:51, the feeling of satisfaction was immense. At this point in time, I couldn't have turned away from the song even if I wanted. I was in the bus and it was driving! This is very, very skilled arranging in my book.

• Lyric related thoughts...

Because I can't decide what to talk about from a lyric perspective, I've entered a vertical list of possible topics in Excel. In the column next to that list, I have enlisted (ooooh, another potential-but-missed pun) Excel's help to create some random numbers...

=RANDBETWEEN(1,1000) <ENTER>

… hmmmm... it seems that the winning topic is “How, as the song progresses, verses and bridge add emotional intensity to the chorus by targeting different aspects of the chorus”. Thank you Excel. Great choice!

One of the things I once picked up from the seminars Steve Seskin conducted when he came to Melbourne was the concept of targeting different aspects of the chorus. For myself, I've found Seskin's theory to be most productive when I couple it with Pat Pattison's theory of “Three Boxes”.



Applying the above to “Too Dangerous”....

First off, the chorus is a list chorus. That is, it contains a list of images and/or ideas. For a list to work effectively, it's necessary that each subsequent element in the list increases its importance from a developmental perspective. English teachers call this 'climactic order'. It's easy to tell whether or not list items are in climactic order by simply changing the order of the items and reading through the new order. I find that non-climactic order feels 'not quite right' when read aloud.

Reading through the chorus of “Too Dangerous”, the list order is definitely climatic for me. When I switch the order of items around, the effectiveness of the chorus diminishes. There is no doubting that the chorus is most effective when it culminates in the ultimate assessment of “She's too dangerous for me”. Powerful!

Using Pattison's concept of three boxes, and condensing the 'verse/bridge + chorus' into each over-arching concept, I see that the song sections work in the following way.



Overall, the way in which “Too Dangerous” lyrically develops and targets increasingly more important chorus ideas is a perfect example of lyric writing at its most effective.

List choruses are definitely one of my lyric-writing weak points. Thanks for a great lesson, floyd! Talking my way through this has been very valuable. Now all I need to do is to reverse-engineer your approach.

All the best,
Noel

P.S. I know I've covered some of the above thoughts on theory in earlier posts. Since this is a different song, though, I found it useful for my thinking to refresh those thoughts here.

P.P.S. I think my touch-typing has improved a bit.

Noel...

Thanks for writing up your thoughts on "Too Dangerous". (above this post)

I would not normally respond to this post (though I do appreciate it greatly) - and just let it slide on down the page...

But since you returned to your earlier short post to fill in with your write up, it is likely that a lot of people will not "look again"...

I thought that would be a shame since I think there are many who would benefit from your analysis and lyric explanation - it might be things they hadn't considered before... and you do such a fine job of explaining...

(Again - thanks for such a nice write-up... and Rob and Mario - thanks, guys - those were kinda late reviews, too, so I did not respond before - was not ignoring y'all....)

floyd,

There's no need whatsover to respond to this reply.

I just wanted to let you know that the reason I analyse your lyrics in writing is because it's the writing that generates understanding for me and posting them in the forum provides me with motivation. By working my way through your words and applying some lyric-writing tools that I've collected from reading and seminars, aspects of lyrics jell in my mind. Your lyrics are always so very good and I've learnt a great deal from them over the years.

By contrast, if I simply look and read through a lyric and think my way through the analysis, very little stays in my head.

In all honesty, I wouldn't be where I am today without your songs and the understanding you and they have given me. Thank you for being tolerant of me in my quest to become a better lyricist. I sincerely appreciate it.

All the best,
Noel