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I've been in hospital recently and this is my thank you to all the nurses, the cleaner and the lad with the food!! Oh yeh and the Doctor Years back when a Dental student I used to co-write the Xmas reviews at college so I thought I would write one in that style! The stay wasn't such fun but the guy in the next bed and I had some laughs in the days before we were discharged. We were the least ill, thankfully. To everybody in Anglesey Ward, Morriston Hospital, Swansea, South Wales. They all did a wonderful job, thanks!! I never want to see that flipping place again Bed 9 well she said this wont hurt its only a scratch as she showed me the biggest needle I'd ever seen then she stuck it in my bum pushed the plunger with her thumb and I let out one almighty piercing scream she said c'mon don't be a baby as i cried out now look here dahling you ain't the kind of nurse living in my dreams they are sweet and nice not a devil with a device and your only intention is to make me scream she laughed till she cried tears running from her eyes as she tried to regain control of her breath then the guy in the next bed made me laugh with what he said and she said watch smarty pants you're next life can be a tonic when you're stuck away from home lying there with all those other guys you're in ward E bed 9 why is there always one guy that sleeps through the day and shouts and screams when you're trying to sleep and there's that lucky so and so who gets a bed bath every day and there's me over here thinking OI! wot about me oh no here come the visitors all with a bunch of grapes which they eat cos they cant think of a thing to say that old nosey neighbour your mates to have a laugh and your missus checking the insurance's is up to date life can be a tonic when you're stuck away from home lying there with all those other guys life can be a tonic with good nurses by your side you're in ward E bed 9 you're in ward E bed 9 RealTracks in song: 2351:Bass, Acoustic, RockabillyRockNRoll Ev 165 RealTracks in song: 2264:Piano, Acoustic, Rhythm 80sBubblegumPop Ev 140 RealTracks in style: 525:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming Ev 190 RealTracks in style: 523:Guitar, Acoustic, Fingerpicking Ev 190 RealTracks in song: 900:Guitar, Acoustic, Strumming FolkRockWaltz Ev 150 RealTracks in song: 1199:Guitar, Acoustic, Rhythm GypsyJazzFastJohn Sw 250 RealDrums in Song: JazzBebopDannyBrushes: a: Brushes, HiHatb: Brushes, Open HiHat enjoy Alyn
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Hi Alyn,
so much fun! You are an acute observer and make such a nasty place enjoyable. I hope everything is fine with you again. I enjoyed my listen.
Guenter
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Hi Alyn.
Good to have you back. A Fun song! Although not a pleasant stay, we do hope that you're better now. Now it's time for you to create some more of those cool songs!
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Alyn! So glad to have you back!
I love your dark humour.. and as Guenter said, it's cool that you were able to turn a bad situation into a springboard for creativity!
This is fun on so many levels, it's hard to know where to start!
I like the uptempo beat and the clever lyrics... I'm sure the nurses and other at the hospital will get a real laugh out of this!
I can imagine that this episode must have knocked the blocks out from under you, and you might not have felt like making music for a while... but I'm glad you got it back! Your songs bring something unique to the forum, and I always look forward to hearing your stuff!
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Good stuff Alyn. Finding humor (humour  ) in a hospital stay is fantastic. Get better soon. Regards, Bob
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Welcome back Alyn!!! You were certainly missed!! I've thought about sending you a PM a few times but been distracted by my ridiculously crazy life. Nobody else has your brand of humor, and it's one of my favorite brands. This song is a kick! It has "Gibson" written all over it-funny, clever, and, as Pat said, a bit dark. Hope you're feeling well. Keep 'em coming!! Take care. Greg
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Alyn!!!
No one documents their life in song better than you do. And it is always a joy to go along for the ride... Sometimes painful, sometimes embarrassing, often hilarious, always with a twinkle in the eye...
Totally enjoyable.
So glad to see you back (for however long we are allowed..)
Hope you are well.
floyd
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Alyn As the others have said hope you are well. Enjoyed the song dark but fun.
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Hi Alyn.
Good to have you back!
You've been greatly missed - the forum needs you to make us laugh at ourselves.
"here come the visitors all with a bunch of grapes which they eat cos they can't think of a thing to say"
Absolutely. I've done the visiting and been in just that position.
Hope you stay well and keep posting.
Cheers, ROG.
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What a romp! That ran over me like a truck, it was so so good and then it was gone. Enjoyed.
Kenny
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Alyn!!!!! It's really, really excellent to see you back in the forum  I've missed your songwriting wit and humour a lot. No-one around here creates music like you do. I loved the journey of this song. And what a great hook! I don't know of any other song that has a hospital bed for a title. You have a amazing ability to caricature life in such an astounding way that it's simultaneously funny and poignant. That's quite a feat of accomplishment. Sending lots of good thoughts your way! Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2025
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Hi Alyn. Wondered where you were. Very Gibson song and much fun. True the bit about the grapes. Best wishes and. Cheers.
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As Bob said "...Finding humor in a hospital stay is fantastic."
And as floyd said "No one documents their life in song better than you do. And it is always a joy to go along for the ride..."
Win, lose or draw you are willing to write about it and in a way that never fails to entertain. Never over-wrought or maudlin yet beneath the humor there always seems to be a lot of depth to the lyrics.
Glad to see you back, enjoyed the tune, and trust you are on the mend.
J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Hi Alyn,
so much fun! You are an acute observer and make such a nasty place enjoyable. I hope everything is fine with you again. I enjoyed my listen.
Guenter Only wish it as such fun in real life! Yeh getting there slowly glad you enjoyed Alyn
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Hi Alyn.
Good to have you back. A Fun song! Although not a pleasant stay, we do hope that you're better now. Now it's time for you to create some more of those cool songs! Thank you Rob and Anne Marie, I am getting there but it is slow. My joie de vivre is slowly returning and hopefully my love of music will get back to normal!! Thanks for your concerns, I did appreciate them a lot. Alyn
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Alyn! So glad to have you back!
I love your dark humour.. and as Guenter said, it's cool that you were able to turn a bad situation into a springboard for creativity!
This is fun on so many levels, it's hard to know where to start!
I like the uptempo beat and the clever lyrics... I'm sure the nurses and other at the hospital will get a real laugh out of this!
I can imagine that this episode must have knocked the blocks out from under you, and you might not have felt like making music for a while... but I'm glad you got it back! Your songs bring something unique to the forum, and I always look forward to hearing your stuff! Thanks Pat, Gotta thank you for the inspiration for this ditty!! The nurses have the thank-you card plus song, haven't heard if they like it yet. I hope they do as they all worked hard keeping us all medicated and clean!! They are the unsung heroes of medicine. Glad you enjoyed it Alyn
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Good stuff Alyn. Finding humor (humour  ) in a hospital stay is fantastic. Get better soon. Regards, Bob Thank you for spelling humour correctly The actual stay wasn't funny at all as I was in a 6 bed ward and 4 of the guys were ILL to the nth degree. glad you enjoyed the song and yeh slowly getting back to normal Alyn
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Welcome back Alyn!!! You were certainly missed!! I've thought about sending you a PM a few times but been distracted by my ridiculously crazy life. Nobody else has your brand of humor, and it's one of my favorite brands. This song is a kick! It has "Gibson" written all over it-funny, clever, and, as Pat said, a bit dark. Hope you're feeling well. Keep 'em coming!! Take care. Greg Thanks for the welome back!! I come from a medical family, only the cat didn't have some qualification, so I learnt from an early age that laughter is the best medicine. My thoughts go out to you and your family Thanks for listening Alyn
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Joined: Aug 2003
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Alyn!!!
No one documents their life in song better than you do. And it is always a joy to go along for the ride... Sometimes painful, sometimes embarrassing, often hilarious, always with a twinkle in the eye...
Totally enjoyable.
So glad to see you back (for however long we are allowed..)
Hope you are well.
floyd My life is a roller coaster ride and from an early age I wrote poems, that became songs, detailing the events I wished to remember. My love of music is slowly returning after nearly 50 years of RAWK!! John Miles said it perfectly!! Yeh getting there thankfully Alyn
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
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Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
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Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Mac Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
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Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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