Pat,

EXCELLENCE ABOUNDS.

Your attention to detail is astounding. Like the Windows opener on the computer..

The blink-change was very clever!

... the "date my mother" camera work was perfect!

"...and a man with enough cash to make it all happen" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Miss Terious. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

The progress bar on the rose was over-the-top!!!!!

You worked the story so well. The double-wide was a nice touch.

The instrumentation is perfect for this type song/story. As good as Larry Groce's "Junkfood Junkie". And the mix is excellent.



The lyric is so well written that it ought to be repeated in the thread, too...

It is a great read and an great example to other writers.

BORED AND LONELY LATE ONE NIGHT ... WAS SURFING ON A DATING SITE
READING PROFILES IN MY USUAL FASHION
THINKIN' THAT THERE REALLY OUGHT... TO BE A GAL WHO'S YOUNG AND HOT
ENOUGH TO TAME MY NASTY REDNECK PASSION

SIFTIN' SAND IN HOPES OF GOLD... 'CAUSE GALS MY AGE ALL LOOK SO OLD
AN' I DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO DATE MY MOTHER
THEY ALL LIKE BEACHES WINE AND TRAVEL,... NO MYSTERIES HERE LEFT TO UNRAVEL
EACH PROFILE READS EXACTLY LIKE THE OTHER

THEN CAME A PHRASE THAT CAUGHT MY EYE,... I COULDN'T LET IT PASS ME BY
2 WORDS WERE ALL SHE'D WRITTEN : “50 SHADES”
I THOUGHT THAT IT WAS KIND OF GROOVY... REFERENCE TO A DIRTY MOVIE
HOPING THAT THIS TIME I HAD IT MADE

I SENT HER AN ELECTRIC ROSE... AND ASKED IF SHE WOULD BE OPPOSED
TO MEETING ME TO SEE IF WE MIGHT CLICK
I HOPED SHE'D BE THE CAT'S MEOW, AND FANTASIZED ABOUT JUST HOW
I 'D HANDLE SUCH A LUSTY WANTON CHICK

DROVE UP TO HER DOUBLE WIDE...KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND WENT INSIDE
WHAT I SAW THAT NIGHT BLEW ME AWAY
CATS OF EVERY COLOR SWARMED .. I NEVER FELT SO MISINFORMED
THEN I KNEW SHE MEANT “50 SHADES OF STRAY”

PERHAPS MY MOTIVES HAD BEEN SHADY, BUT THIS WAS ONE INSANE CAT LADY
AND 50 CATS AIN'T MY IDEA OF FUN
THE ONES THAT WEREN'T ALREADY FIGHTIN'... CLIMBED ON ME AND STARTED BITIN'
I KNEW RIGHT THEN AND THERE THIS DATE WAS DONE

BUT I ESCAPED (I'M NOT SURE HOW)... GUESS WE CAN LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW
MY THINKIN' HERE WAS SLOWER THAN MOLASSES
BUT AS THIS AWFUL MEM'RY FADES, IF FUTURE BRINGS ME 50 SHADES...
NEXT TIME I REALLY HOPE THAT THEY'RE ...SUNGLASSES


This needs to go viral. I truly hope it does.

BIG STANDING O.

fj

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