Great song.
It would however sound even better with some RealTracks. The MIDI is just a bit too obvious imho.

A personal thought of mine on the performance: The whole song is written from a first-person point of view. In fact the whole dialog takes place in your own head. Perhaps you might want to sing the first part "Could I use a drink?" (a question you ask yourself) and then you ponder in a speaking voice "probably not"
There are more of these moments in the song, but don't highlight them all! I think you definatly want to both questions in the the first verse (as mentioned above) like this. And also the last line in the song (only the last one) : [singing]"It's been a hard day" (looking for an excuse) [talking]"and I could drink five" (give yourself permission)

I hope I made it clear what I mean, but if not: don't hesitate to ask!