This is one that I posted on another thread:

I was pulled out of music playing retirement by a dear friend. She wanted to put a band together for her church's social. Myself and another friend agreed. We practiced twice a week for about a month and got down enough songs for the gig. At the gig another church member saw that we didn't have a bass player and volunteered for the job. My friend said that would be great. It wasn't! All he knew was a Johnny Cash tonic fifth bass line in the key of A. We didn't do any songs in the key of A. We had three part harmony in Hotel California in the key of E with him playing tonic fifth in A. Talk about awful. I will never play out again............for anybody!

One prior to that was when we had a very important Christmas gig. Several people mentioned that their daughters were getting married next year and they were looking for a wedding band. Wouldn't you know it, the drummer never showed! it's always either the drummer or bass played ain't it!

Fortunately a friend was there who said he has a daughter that plays drums and they lived close by. She played that gig that night and she was fantastic, even though she was only 15! She play drums for us for 5 years with her father always coming to the gig. That way it was legal.

Whenever I get something stuck in the back of my throat, I dislodge it by drinking a beer.
It's called the Heineken Maneuver.

64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware