So.... way back... I was hired to play guitar in a band.... I was still new and hadn't really figured out the internal politics yet.... but was having a good time playing with the guys. I think I had been with the band maybe a month's worth of gigs. I had gone to jam with them by their invite, they hired me that same weekend and this was 3 or 4 weeks later.

So we have a booking at a club in Morehead City NC.... The band was sounding good, the place was packed.... close to standing room only, and we had played maybe 2 sets and were on our break.

The guys were at a table with their girlfriends and I kinda felt like the unneeded 5th wheel, and since the smoke was so thick you could cut it with a knife, I decided to go outside for some fresh ocean air. So I did. About 10 minutes later, I'm setting on the front steps when I see 3 ladies coming across the parking lot. I recognized them as the WIVES of my band mates. The drummers wife asks me if their husbands are inside. Uhhh yeah. Then asks, are they with someone? Uhhhhhh... (how do you answer that question?)... she says, "It's alright...we know... that's why we're here" and they went inside. I didn't follow because I didn't want to be in the middle of what I kinda figured was coming and I didn't want to be an eyewitness to a murder.

Here's what happened.... as recounted to me later by the guys in the band. The Wives stayed back in the shadows watching. When the girlfriends went to the bathroom, so did the wives. The drummer's wife says to the drummer's girl friend... Man that drummer sure is one hot,handsome guy, I think I'll pick him up and take him home with me tonight...to which the girl friend replies, sorry, he's my boyfriend and he's going home with me. To which the wife replies.... he's my husband you [*****], and hauls off and punches the girl friend in the face.... it escalated quickly from that point and spilled out of the bathroom into the club. The bouncers were on it quickly. The owner finds out what was happening, and calls the band members over to talk. He tells the band members that he's throwing someone out..... either the girlfriends or the wives....and the band members had to choose. (The wisdom of Salomon) They chose to have their wives thrown out... yep... I kid you not. Had their wives thrown out the club.... wow!

So we finished the night without any further incident. The girlfriends stayed and left with the guys, and I drove home to my house. When the bass player got home, his clothes were scattered on the front lawn and the door was locked and chained. The drummer found his house ransacked, the TV smashed, the bed sliced up and his wife gone. Same thing for the singer.... The drummer's wife was not heard from for over 2 months.

Eventually, everyone made up, and the incident was forgotten as life went on...and on.... and on.... this kind of thing tended to occur about every 6 months with those guys in various forms.

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.