Andy,

This is so very good.

The write is exceptional. Some great lines in this. The story is really well developed.

The production is tasty and tasteful. Your guitar work is a delight. I would hesitate to change it much from where you have it - it all works VERY well. Your feelings about the guitar having more of a role is, likely, because you are so accustom to hearing it as you play it - as a guitar/vocal only. As we hear it - a full production - the guitar "holds its own" quite well.

I thought Charlie's suggestion of "that" was a good one (but, that is of course, your choice). I heard a "bit of a bump" on the word "ruined" (syllables rushed) - you could change that to "break" (or "broke") to reduce syllables (again, a little thing - though, getting to the point where "little things" are all that is left - as you have - is impressive...and makes those little things that much more important).

I would not be concerned about the length of the song. There is no "filler" in your story. This is like a Harry Chapin story song. They require the time they require.

Again... this is excellent!

floyd

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