Originally Posted By: floyd jane
Andy,

This is so very good.

The write is exceptional. Some great lines in this. The story is really well developed.

The production is tasty and tasteful. Your guitar work is a delight. I would hesitate to change it much from where you have it - it all works VERY well. Your feelings about the guitar having more of a role is, likely, because you are so accustom to hearing it as you play it - as a guitar/vocal only. As we hear it - a full production - the guitar "holds its own" quite well.

I thought Charlie's suggestion of "that" was a good one (but, that is of course, your choice). I heard a "bit of a bump" on the word "ruined" (syllables rushed) - you could change that to "break" (or "broke") to reduce syllables (again, a little thing - though, getting to the point where "little things" are all that is left - as you have - is impressive...and makes those little things that much more important).

I would not be concerned about the length of the song. There is no "filler" in your story. This is like a Harry Chapin story song. They require the time they require.

Again... this is excellent!

floyd


We're late to the party but floyd really well articulated all the goodness of this production.

A well deserved Hot Topic and we enjoyed the journey!

J&B

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