I think the lyrics for this are top drawer - very good and I wish i had written them. What a great chorus.

I liked the melody too , but I must be honest I didnt like the arrangements - The introduction and dropping of instruments somehow sounded a bit unnatural to me - I think you absolutely have the right instinct to have little moments thoughtout the song - but they just didnt seem quite authentic to my ears. My thought would be to work on the arrangement.

I actually wonder if it wouldnt be nicer in an arrangement with just your voice(s) and a single guitar - there is a power in your lyric which would stand up to a more bare-bones production

Anyway I hope that is useful feedback!

BIAB user since Feb 2017
Songwriter for far too long