I missed a step or did something wrong along the way. I'll break down my process and see if you can see any flaws in my execution.

Originally Posted By: floyd jane


Sure!...Here is how to get YOUR drum kit to play Modern Country:

1. Get a computer (small laptop best for this application).


This is 'Merica. Go big or go home. I grabbed my old Tandy computer out, cassette drive and all. It's a beast! Laptop..smh.

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2. Load some type beat generation software (Fruity Loops might be a good choice. I'm not "up" on what might be current - that might make a good thread, though...)


To each his/her own, but I prefer "Grape Nuts" to those "Fruit Loops." This is country music. I want the grit, NOT the sugar of pop music. I also went with whole milk. You didn't specify that part.

In, I believe, an unrelated incident, the computer seem to catch fire around the same time as I poured the milk on. No worries. The milk put the fire out. wink

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3. Experiment creating beats.


Three of my kids have those headphones. I took all three apart trying to duplicate what they did; but no luck. All of my experiments resulted in NO beats at all.

Also, where do you get these "beats" headphones? I have to replace the three sets before they get home from school. What are they, like $10 for the big (sudio)pair, and $5 for the little ones?

Never mind, I ask my wife to pick them up. She's been getting on me for getting spending so much on equipment. If SHE buys them, she can't say anything to me about it. Rock solid plan!

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A thick synth bass.


It's Wisconsin, so I went ice fishing for the bass. I got 5 smaller "keepers" to make up for not getting a thick one.
("Is this guy really doing bass/bass jokes now?"--Jim Gaffigan's "inner voice")

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A snappy hand clap sound.


I was confused at first. Then in my experiments I noticed when I snap my fingers, one finger is mostly responsible for making the sound as it hits the palm of my hand. It's NOT made by my initial two fingers sliding against each other as I initially thought. The strike of that finger is essentially a micro clap being done with one hand via the snap. Impressive! I learned something there.

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A shaker.


The sugar shaker has been done to death years ago, so I went with pepper?

Note to self, put tape over the end to plug the holes next time. 15 minutes into the project and I can't stop sneezing. shocked

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4. Once you find a groove similar to "new country"...
.... set the laptop on top of your snare.


I don't understand the point in putting my computer on my fish cleaning station?

I've reviewed my steps several times; and truly feel I am spot on. The ONLY thing I can figure is using whole milk. There is nothing else that it could be. I'm methodical to a flaw.

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smile


crazy

Thanks FJ! smile

Chad (Hope that makes it easier)

TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.