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Just wondering what your favorite and most interesting rhyme is in one of your original writes. I've seen some pretty good ones on the user forum.
My favorite was a song I wrote about 10 years ago. The song was titled "Aunt Edna's Operation" and the rhyme I really enjoyed was "hysterectomy and Schenectady". Here are the lines:
She would need an operation
A hysterectomy
So they sent her to a specialist
Up in Schenectady
Looking forward to reading yours!
Alan
PS: I'D PREFER WE KEEP THIS THREAD IN REFERENCE TO ORIGINAL SONGS THAT "YOU" HAVE WRITTEN. A FEW FOLKS MENTIONED COVER SONGS. THAT'S COOL, TOO. BUT LET'S TRY TO KEEP IT FOCUSED ON YOUR ORIGINALS. THANKS.
Last edited by Al-David; 05/24/17 09:32 AM.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Mine is neither a favorite nor interesting rhyme but more of a songwriting technique.
I sing this throw away verse over musical ideas I'm developing. Also, the written words will nearly universally fit into any love song, and have I have used portions or the whole verse in more than one song.
The verse fits in 3/4 or 4/4 time and what I call the cadence of the vocal sounds fits to how I sound words. Using these throw away words allow me to mentally separate music and lyrical ideas when I'm writing.
The verse:
Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
It has to be true love
That's all it can be
Charlie
BIAB 2025:RB 2025, Latest builds: Dell Optiplex 7040 Desktop; Windows-10-64 bit, Intel Core i7-6700 3.4GHz CPU and 16 GB Ram Memory.
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I like the rhymes that work well without being the obvious choice a listener is expecting.
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".
Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose
El Paso / big hassle / his castle
Texas / facts is / justice / taxes
slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today
John Laptop-HP Omen I7 Win11Pro 32GB 12TB SSD Desktop-ASUS-I7 Win10Pro 32GB 12TB SATA BB2026/UMC204HD&404HD/Casios/Cakewalk/Reaper/Studio One/Notion/Dorico/Noteworthy/NI/Halion/IK http://www.sus4chord.com (under rehosting/construction)
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Love that song and it's lyrics. Thanks for sharing John.
 Steve BIAB/RB 2022, Pro Tools 2020, Korg N5, JBL LSR 4328 Powered Monitors, AKG/Shure Mics.
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Not one that I wrote, but Hal David's lyrics to "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" always intrigued me. Genius lyric writing:
L.A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down and buy a car
In a week, maybe two, they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years. How quick they pass
And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas
Fame and fortune is a magnet
It can pull you far away from home
With a dream in your heart you're never alone
Dreams turn into dust and blow away
And there you are without a friend
You pack your car and ride away...
BIAB & RB2026 Win.(Audiophile), Windows 10 Pro & Windows 11, Cakewalk Bandlab, Izotope Prod.Bundle, Roland RD-1000, Synthogy Ivory, Session Keys Grand S & Electric R, Kontakt, Focusrite 18i20, KetronSD2, NS40M, Pioneer Active Monitors.
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Songwriting
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OP
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Mine is neither a favorite nor interesting rhyme but more of a songwriting technique.
I sing this throw away verse over musical ideas I'm developing. Also, the written words will nearly universally fit into any love song, and have I have used portions or the whole verse in more than one song.
The verse fits in 3/4 or 4/4 time and what I call the cadence of the vocal sounds fits to how I sound words. Using these throw away words allow me to mentally separate music and lyrical ideas when I'm writing.
The verse:
Look into my eyes
Tell me what you see
It has to be true love
That's all it can be
That's pretty interesting, Charlie! Thanks for the input!
Charlie
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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I like the rhymes that work well without being the obvious choice a listener is expecting. Herb, Nothing to argue with there. I love a great surprise, especially when it involves music! Thanks for chiming in.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".
Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose
El Paso / big hassle / his castle
Texas / facts is / justice / taxes
slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today
John, Thanks for the reminder on that song - had totally forgotten about it. Appreciate the input.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Songwriting
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Joined: Dec 2012
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OP
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Not one that I wrote, but Hal David's lyrics to "Do You Know The Way To San Jose?" always intrigued me. Genius lyric writing:
L.A. is a great big freeway
Put a hundred down and buy a car
In a week, maybe two, they'll make you a star
Weeks turn into years. How quick they pass
And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas
Fame and fortune is a magnet
It can pull you far away from home
With a dream in your heart you're never alone
Dreams turn into dust and blow away
And there you are without a friend
You pack your car and ride away...
Hi Trevor, Yep, that's a cool lyric. That was a popular song when I was in high school. By the way, Hal David & I aren't related. But, I would exchange bank accounts with him! Thanks for dropping in with your input.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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A couple of folks offered their favorites by other artists. Here's one of mine ......
It's the first verse of Moe Bandy's song, "Too Old To Die Young":
If life is like a candle bright, death must be the wind
You can close your window tight and it still comes flowing in
So I will climb the highest hill and watch the rising sun
And I pray that I don't feel the chill till I'm too old to die young
Last edited by Al-David; 05/23/17 04:57 AM.
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Songwriting
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Not one I wrote, but I think one of the most creative uses of rhyme in a song is Steve Miller's "Take The Money and Run".
Bobbie Sue / to do / watch the tube / cut loose
El Paso / big hassle / his castle
Texas / facts is / justice / taxes
slipped away / next day / money, hey / got away / running today
John, Thanks for the reminder on that song - had totally forgotten about it. Appreciate the input. You forgot because "time keeps on drifting drifting into the future".
Love is grand.
Divorce is twenty grand!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone
There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios
and from Hello In There
Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello"
Love is grand.
Divorce is twenty grand!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Songwriting
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I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone
There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios
and from Hello In There
Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello" Mario, Those are excellent! Being that I'm 70 years old, I kinda like that last one best. I'm not one of those people but I know many folks in my age group who are. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion! Best to you, Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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Songwriting
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I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes?
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Dec 2003
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Posts: 24,455 |
I could pick a number of phrases from Jon's Prine's first album but a couple that caught my attention were from Sam Stone
There's a hole in daddy's arm where all the money goes,
Jesus Christ died for nothin I suppose.
Little pitchers have big ears,
Don't stop to count the years,
Sweet songs never last too long on broken radios
and from Hello In There
Ya' know that old trees just grow stronger
And old rivers grow wilder ev'ry day
Old people just grow lonesome
Waiting for someone to say, "Hello in there, hello" Mario, Those are excellent! Being that I'm 70 years old, I kinda like that last one best. I'm not one of those people but I know many folks in my age group who are. Thanks for your contribution to the discussion! Best to you, Alan Alan, I'm 71 and like you I am not one of those people but again alike you I know a few who are like in the song. Hello In There has been one of my favorites since the day it was released.
Love is grand.
Divorce is twenty grand!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Songwriting
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I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes? Yes Herb you are right. I was just following the rest, my bad.
Love is grand.
Divorce is twenty grand!
64 bit Win 10 Pro, the latest BiaB/RB, Roland Octa-Capture audio interface, a ton of software/hardware
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Joined: Jan 2013
Posts: 1,333
Expert
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I'd suspect very diverse submissions with this topic.
I wrote a song called "I'm Ready" a few years ago.
Just a song about my take of how one deals with life in general.
Took me a while to get the lyrics to my satisfaction.
I always liked how the following lines came together:
Last two lines verse 1:
Comes a time to decide when to fight or give in.
Be advised, such is life and you sink or you swim.
First two lines verse 2:
Best defense is a mind that's thinkin' ahead.
A wise man said know your enemies better than friends.
Back to it.....
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I thought this was supposed to be about YOUR lyrics, not cover tunes. Yes? Herb, You are correct - that was the original intent. I'd prefer to keep it that way but a few folks went the other direction. I think I'll go back to the original post and edit it to make that more emphatic. Thanks! Alan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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I'd suspect very diverse submissions with this topic.
I wrote a song called "I'm Ready" a few years ago.
Just a song about my take of how one deals with life in general.
Took me a while to get the lyrics to my satisfaction.
I always liked how the following lines came together:
Last two lines verse 1:
Comes a time to decide when to fight or give in.
Be advised, such is life and you sink or you swim.
First two lines verse 2:
Best defense is a mind that's thinkin' ahead.
A wise man said know your enemies better than friends.
Back to it.....
Howdy! Really cool lines! I'm particularly fond of the last couplet. That's some real nice writing! Thanks for joining in! ALan
BIAB 2024 Ultra Plus-all StylePaks*Win11*32GB DDR5*Rhyzen 9745x*AT 2035 Mic*Peavey Nashville 112 Amp*Ibanez ART120* Acoustic/Electric/Washburn D200S Acoustic*Stromberg Monterey Jazz Guitar Loops: https://aldavidmusic.wixsite.com/bestmusicloops
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