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#444978 12/13/17 05:03 PM
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When the end comes...will you be ready?


a co-write with Bill Osofsky



The BAND

RealTracks in song: 541:Bass, Electric, Pop Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 946:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisCleanShort Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 945:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisCleanSustain Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 948:Guitar, Electric, Rhythm MemphisDirtyMuted Sw 190
RealTracks in song: 589:Banjo, Bluegrass Doc Ev 100 (Rhythm)
RealTracks in song: 436:Mandolin, Soloist Bluegrass Ev 130
RealTracks in song: 597:Guitar, Acoustic, Soloist Bluegrass Doc Ev 100
RealDrums in style: NashvilleSwing8^2-a:Sidestick, HiHat , b:Snare, Ride



THE SHED


i gotta see a client he told her as he left
but he went off to sin at the holiday inn
where he died an embarrassing death
the police returned his brass chain
that's where his keys were
so she checked the big shack
that he built out back
to see what he'd been hidin' from her
well she opened up the door
this is what she saw

a dozen cases of miller beer
a browning that he used for deer
a muddy pair of wading boots
16 boxes of red man chew
peanut butter, jam and bread
out there in the shed

she never knew her buford to be the type to hoard
and she didn't expect that he actu'ly kept
the junk he didn't need no more
his closet was clean, the garage shined like a pearl
she thought she'd find cash and some valuables stashed
to run off with with some other girl
well she took a step inside
couldn't believe her eyes

there's a generator, extention cords
penny nails and two by fours
bottled water, powdered milk
m&m's, aspirin pills
gauze and tape, needles and thread
out there in the shed.

and over in the corner
well, it almost made her cry
a chair with his name and a chair with hers
sittin' side by side

she settled in that chair and took a look around

cans of corn beans and beets
turkey jerky, freeze dried beef
survival books, a hunting knife
hostess twinkies fresh for life
come armegedon they'd be fed
out there in the shed

all prepared for armaged-don
out there in the shed


Enjoy.

Comments encouraged.

floyd

floyd jane #444984 12/13/17 06:10 PM
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Hi Floyd & Bill,

Well, I was surprised as heck to see Bill's name there! I've casually known Bill since about 2006. Even wrote a song for a young lady he was working with back then. Hi Bill - it was great to see your name again!

You guys did a super job on the write! You never know what you'll find in those sheds out back. Loved the two chairs part:

and over in the corner
well, it almost made her cry
a chair with his name and a chair with hers
sittin' side by side

That's really, really good! I enjoyed the use of the traditional instruments of Americana/Country/Folk lineage. Had to listen to it twice ... too good for just one listen!

As far as when the end gets here ... I' guess we'll see!

Keeping my comments brief tonight. As Di gets better - I've got the flu! Feel terrible.

Merry Christmas to both of you.

Alan

Last edited by Al-David; 12/13/17 06:10 PM.

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floyd jane #445019 12/13/17 10:15 PM
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Enjoyed that guys.
A swinging hillbilly take on a survivalist scene with a romantic twist.
Very entertaining.
Cheers.

floyd jane #445045 12/14/17 04:23 AM
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aside from not getting the holiday inn thing.... the rest was pretty cool..... That first line was out of character to the rest of the song.

Nice mix and loved the instrumentation choices.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
floyd jane #445053 12/14/17 04:43 AM
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Cool man. A song as only Floyd could do it! Great job guys.

Excellent co-write.

floyd jane #445057 12/14/17 04:55 AM
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Hi Floyd and Bill,

Strange, different, thought provoking, but above all, entertaining.

A very clever write and production, all as professional as ever.

ROG.

floyd jane #445079 12/14/17 07:00 AM
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Nicely done!

As usual, clever well written lyrics and a totally pro sounding mix.

floyd jane #445080 12/14/17 07:09 AM
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Nice song guys. Great concept and the production as always top notch. Love it.


Samuel Davis Jr
BIAB 2018 + Cubase + Ignite
BMI

www.sammycountry.com
floyd jane #445085 12/14/17 07:22 AM
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Fun and clever!! My favorite line (from a bunch of great ones):

hostess twinkies fresh for life

That one really made me laugh! This is such a well-crafted write, mostly just fun but with a nice sentimental twist. Arrangement and mix are perfect! Another excellent write by an excellent writer (and apparently co-writer as well). Really enjoyed the journey to The Shed Floyd!! Take care. Greg

floyd jane #445099 12/14/17 07:59 AM
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So Buford is a doomsday prepper,

I'm actually on board with Herb, I don't get the Holiday Inn

thing either. It's kind of a funny folksy tale with a nice melody

and musical flow but I don't like Buford. I guess he's a good ole boy

with a complex relationship, he cares for his wife but cheats on her.

The song is very visual, I like that, I don't like grocery lists much.

I'm sorry, I never mean to be too critical or nasty. There are things

that I like here, maybe I'm not the audience for this one. Maybe

the character is just human and I'm not focusing on the humor

or sweet twist. Those chairs should've been in the home to be used

and shown as a symbol of love out in the open. I don't expect people

to agree with me on this and I have the highest respect for you Floyd.

Take my read on this with a grain of salt as most here will love it

and heck, have a Merry Christmas

floyd jane #445110 12/14/17 08:29 AM
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Floyd & Bill,
That`s a pretty complete list - might be straight from a preppers website!
I guess the first verse does make the tale a bit darker than the rest of the song... but hey, I`m a details guy, so I really enjoyed that grocery list!
Super vocal that captures the humour intended and very clean toe-tapping arrangement.

Robert

floyd jane #445144 12/14/17 12:34 PM
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Dear Floyd !


I had my laugh, but
maybe I should take it
a little more seriously
as there sure are people
preparing for armageddon
both here and there !

In any case a brilliantly
written and performed tune
as was expected also !:))

A most Merry X-mas to you
and your co writer and
a most Happy New Year too !

Cheers
Dani

floyd jane #445204 12/14/17 08:57 PM
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floyd & Bill

Great melody - fun tune - clever lyric, excellent storytelling about a philandering survivalist, and all wrapped up in a great performance.

Peter

PeterF #445237 12/15/17 02:35 AM
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Originally Posted By: PeterF
floyd & Bill

Great melody - fun tune - clever lyric, excellent storytelling about a philandering survivalist, and all wrapped up in a great performance.

Peter
I was thinking the same thing. I thought the Holiday Inn part worked OK as it was referenced again later when she said she thought he might have run off with some other girl. Great production as usual and very well sung with some challenging phrasing. I as well as many others always get excited to see a new post from you. A pleasure, Tom

David Snyder #445344 12/15/17 11:07 AM
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Originally Posted By: Al-David
Hi Floyd & Bill,

Well, I was surprised as heck to see Bill's name there! I've casually known Bill since about 2006. Even wrote a song for a young lady he was working with back then. Hi Bill - it was great to see your name again!

You guys did a super job on the write! You never know what you'll find in those sheds out back. Loved the two chairs part:

and over in the corner
well, it almost made her cry
a chair with his name and a chair with hers
sittin' side by side

That's really, really good! I enjoyed the use of the traditional instruments of Americana/Country/Folk lineage. Had to listen to it twice ... too good for just one listen!

As far as when the end gets here ... I' guess we'll see!

Keeping my comments brief tonight. As Di gets better - I've got the flu! Feel terrible.

Merry Christmas to both of you.

Alan


Hi, Alan - I hope you are on the mend. Hope Di is doing well, too.

I've written a bunch with Bill. He is a fine lyricist - an excellent sense of prosody for a guy who doesn't play an instrument... Most of what he would send me were completed stories - I just had to come up with music and production and tweak a few things here and there to fit my cadence and sensibilities...


Originally Posted By: RichMac
Enjoyed that guys.
A swinging hillbilly take on a survivalist scene with a romantic twist.
Very entertaining.
Cheers.


Glad you enjoyed it, Richard...



Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
aside from not getting the holiday inn thing.... the rest was pretty cool..... That first line was out of character to the rest of the song.

Nice mix and loved the instrumentation choices.


When Bill sent me the lyric, I had no problem understanding the point.
I'm surprised that anyone would. But I will explain.

but he went off to sin at the holiday inn

That means he was going to the Holiday Inn to have sex with another woman.
Or a man. We don't know that much about Buford.
Either way, he was cheating on her.

where he died an embarrassing death

If you were at the Holiday Inn in your small North Carolina town cheating on your wife and you died of a heart attack (for example), then that would likely be very embarrassing for your family...

Which sets up the rest of the story.
The police return his belongings - which include his keys.
The wife immediately goes to unlock the shed to find out what Buford has been doing out there. She thinks he has been preparing to run off with someone else.
Turns out he was getting ready for the both of them to survive some apocalypse.

I know Bill would likely not explain a lyric. He generally just puts it out there and let's it stand.



Originally Posted By: David Snyder

Cool man. A song as only Floyd could do it! Great job guys.

Excellent co-write.


Thanks, David...

Samuel Davis #445346 12/15/17 11:12 AM
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Originally Posted By: ROG
Hi Floyd and Bill,

Strange, different, thought provoking, but above all, entertaining.

A very clever write and production, all as professional as ever.

ROG.


Glad you found it interesting, ROG...


Originally Posted By: BlueAttitude
Nicely done!

As usual, clever well written lyrics and a totally pro sounding mix.


Thanks, Dave...


Originally Posted By: Samuel Davis
Nice song guys. Great concept and the production as always top notch. Love it.


Appreciate you dropping by, Samuel...

floyd jane #445532 12/16/17 09:00 AM
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Quote:
When Bill sent me the lyric, I had no problem understanding the point.
I'm surprised that anyone would. But I will explain.

but he went off to sin at the holiday inn

That means he was going to the Holiday Inn to have sex with another woman.
Or a man. We don't know that much about Buford.
Either way, he was cheating on her.

where he died an embarrassing death

If you were at the Holiday Inn in your small North Carolina town cheating on your wife and you died of a heart attack (for example), then that would likely be very embarrassing for your family...

Which sets up the rest of the story.
The police return his belongings - which include his keys.
The wife immediately goes to unlock the shed to find out what Buford has been doing out there. She thinks he has been preparing to run off with someone else.
Turns out he was getting ready for the both of them to survive some apocalypse.

I know Bill would likely not explain a lyric. He generally just puts it out there and let's it stand.



Yeah I did kinda get that from it, but what puzzled me, as someone else also mentioned.... he seems to love his wife but he's off cheating on her. Yeah, it is what it is.... just thought it didn't fit the rest of the song..... maybe he could have died from a heart attack while driving his truck or something.... more in line with what the rest of the song paints him to be...a guy who loves his wife and makes preparation for them to survive the zombie apocalypse without her knowledge of what he's doing in the shed.


You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
Guitarhacker #445860 12/18/17 10:46 AM
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Originally Posted By: Guitarhacker
Quote:
When Bill sent me the lyric, I had no problem understanding the point.
I'm surprised that anyone would. But I will explain.

but he went off to sin at the holiday inn

That means he was going to the Holiday Inn to have sex with another woman.
Or a man. We don't know that much about Buford.
Either way, he was cheating on her.

where he died an embarrassing death

If you were at the Holiday Inn in your small North Carolina town cheating on your wife and you died of a heart attack (for example), then that would likely be very embarrassing for your family...

Which sets up the rest of the story.
The police return his belongings - which include his keys.
The wife immediately goes to unlock the shed to find out what Buford has been doing out there. She thinks he has been preparing to run off with someone else.
Turns out he was getting ready for the both of them to survive some apocalypse.

I know Bill would likely not explain a lyric. He generally just puts it out there and let's it stand.



Yeah I did kinda get that from it, but what puzzled me, as someone else also mentioned.... he seems to love his wife but he's off cheating on her. Yeah, it is what it is.... just thought it didn't fit the rest of the song..... maybe he could have died from a heart attack while driving his truck or something.... more in line with what the rest of the song paints him to be...a guy who loves his wife and makes preparation for them to survive the zombie apocalypse without her knowledge of what he's doing in the shed.


I don't think that Bill's storyline - a guy who cheats on his wife yet cares about her and would want her with him during the apocalypse - is any less valid. There are a lot of imperfect people in the world. There are a lot of guys who cheat on their wives but would never want to leave them - and still care for them - and would still protect them above all others. The guy who is stockpiling twinkies for the end of the world is not necessarily playing with the same deck as the rest of us. You are projecting a different story on it. Not the story that Bill chose to tell.

floyd jane #445868 12/18/17 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted By: Greg Johnson
Fun and clever!! My favorite line (from a bunch of great ones):

hostess twinkies fresh for life

That one really made me laugh! This is such a well-crafted write, mostly just fun but with a nice sentimental twist. Arrangement and mix are perfect! Another excellent write by an excellent writer (and apparently co-writer as well). Really enjoyed the journey to The Shed Floyd!! Take care. Greg


Thanks, Greg. It is all just for fun. And Bill is a fine writer - easy to work with, too...



Originally Posted By: 44kfl
So Buford is a doomsday prepper,
I'm actually on board with Herb, I don't get the Holiday Inn
thing either. It's kind of a funny folksy tale with a nice melody
and musical flow but I don't like Buford. I guess he's a good ole boy
with a complex relationship, he cares for his wife but cheats on her.
The song is very visual, I like that, I don't like grocery lists much.
I'm sorry, I never mean to be too critical or nasty. There are things
that I like here, maybe I'm not the audience for this one. Maybe
the character is just human and I'm not focusing on the humor
or sweet twist. Those chairs should've been in the home to be used
and shown as a symbol of love out in the open. I don't expect people
to agree with me on this and I have the highest respect for you Floyd.

Take my read on this with a grain of salt as most here will love it
and heck, have a Merry Christmas


Kenny - you can check back to my explanation to Herb about the Holiday Inn.
I can't answer for Bill, but I don't think you are suppose to like Buford. I didn't much care for him, myself. And I will repeat my follow up to Herb - I don't think that Bill's storyline - a guy who cheats on his wife yet cares about her and would want her with him during the apocalypse - is any less valid. There are a lot of imperfect people in the world. There are a lot of guys who cheat on their wives but would never want to leave them - and still care for them - and would still protect them above all others. The guy who is stockpiling twinkies for the end of the world is not necessarily playing with the same deck as the rest of us. I don't think Buford would put those chairs in the house. They were a part of his shed plan. It is "his way". You are projecting a different story on it. Not the story that Bill chose to tell.
I can't really address your dislike for list songs. There is no question this is one. There are thousands of classic examples - Tom T. Hall did it all the time. Dylan, too (to name just two)...

Grain of salt taken. I've got no problem with you not taking to this one. Not everyone is going to like everything. So I just keep writing. All the time. A bunch of them. Maybe you'll like the next one better...

Thanks for listening...

dani48 #445871 12/18/17 11:39 AM
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Originally Posted By: Robertkc
Floyd & Bill,
That`s a pretty complete list - might be straight from a preppers website!
I guess the first verse does make the tale a bit darker than the rest of the song... but hey, I`m a details guy, so I really enjoyed that grocery list!
Super vocal that captures the humour intended and very clean toe-tapping arrangement.

Robert


Robert - thanks for having a go at this...


Originally Posted By: dani48
Dear Floyd !


I had my laugh, but
maybe I should take it
a little more seriously
as there sure are people
preparing for armageddon
both here and there !

In any case a brilliantly
written and performed tune
as was expected also !:))

A most Merry X-mas to you
and your co writer and
a most Happy New Year too !

Cheers
Dani


Thanks, Dani!

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These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!

This Free Bonus PAK includes:

  • The 2026 RealCombos Booster PAK: -For Pro customers, this includes 27 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For MegaPAK customers, this includes 25 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles. -For UltraPAK customers, this includes 12 new RealStyles.
  • MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
  • Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
  • Playable RealTracks Set 5
  • RealDrums Stems Set 9: Cool Brushes
  • SynthMaster Sounds Set 1 (with audio demos)
  • iOS Android Band-in-a-Box® App
Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:
  • 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyle.
  • FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
  • MIDI Styles Set 93: Look Ma! More MIDI 16: SynthMaster
  • MIDI SuperTracks Set 47: More SynthMaster
  • Instrumental Studies 25 - Soul Jazz Guitar Soloing
  • Artist Performance Set 20: Songs with Vocals 10
  • RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
  • SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)

Learn more about the Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Mac®!

XPro & Xtra Styles PAK Sets On Sale Now - Until May 15, 2026!

All of our XPro Styles PAKs and Xtra Styles PAKs are on sale until May 15th, 2026!

It's the perfect time to expand your Band-in-a-Box® style library with XPro and Xtra Styles PAKs. These additional styles for Band-in-a-Box® offer a wide range of genres designed to fit seamlessly into your projects. Each style is professionally arranged and mixed, helping enhance your songs while saving you time.

What are XPro Styles and Xtra Styles PAKs?

XPro Styles PAKs are styles that work with any version (Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition) of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). XPro Styles PAKS 1-10 includes 1,000 styles!

Xtra Styles PAKs are styles that work with the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box® 2025 (or higher). Xtra Styles PAKs 1-21 includes 3,700 styles (and 35 MIDI styles)!

The XPro & Xtra Styles PAKs are not included in any Band-in-a-Box® package.

The XPro Styles PAKs 1-10 are available for only $29 ea (reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Listen to demos and order now! For Mac or for Windows.

The Xtra Styles PAKs 1-21 are available for only $29 ea (reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the Xtra Styles PAK Bundle for only $199 (reg. $349)! Listen to demos and order now! For Mac or for Windows.

Note: XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.

The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 19 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version as they require the RealTracks included in the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.

Supercharge your Band-in-a-Box today with XPro Styles PAKs and Xtra Styles PAK Sets!

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