Mr. Jane...

My girlfriend listened to "This Far". When she was done she sighed dreamily, pulled the headphones off and said, "I'm sorry, Loren, but it's over. I've fallen in love with Floyd." Through my tears and sobbing and wailing, I managed to ask her why she was leaving me. "Because", she explained, "he sounds like he's really hurting, and needs a good woman to soothe his lonely, tortured soul." Wiping my reddened, tear-soaked eyes and sniffling like a man who's nursed a really bad head cold for the last 3,000 years, I brokenheartedly accepted her cruel but heartfelt and truthful confession, and then watched her walk out of my life without even bothering to clean her makeup off of the headphone speaker pads.

Now, see what you've done, Mr. Jane? You're a bad, BAD man. From now on, I will NEVER, EVER listen to one of your excellently produced, lyrically powerful and passionately sung songs in the presence of any woman whom I've taken to dinner at least once.

Should be ashamed of yourself. And tell Ms. Merritt her harmonized vocals made your vocal sound even better than you deserve, you...you stealer-of-ladies'-hearts-with-a-song.

No longer your friend,

LOREN, THE LONELY

Last edited by bluage; 01/13/18 11:45 AM.
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".