First post of your song and everyone agree's is a 10! Had you waited for one more posting it could have gone to 11.

Love me some Spinal Tap!
Seriously Steve, great job! I think you're like me in that you have SO much going on, that it can make it hard to really work on a full song. Getting it to the point of posting, it's probably not going to happen. To date, I've managed to pull it off twice. So, I get it.
Completely understood on that one. If I could only retire! At least 10 years before I can do that.
I'm with FJ that the range of the song actually does fit with the genre. Had it been higher, it may have actually been too "pretty." That added grunge in your vocal tone may have worked to your advantage!
I still had a hard time on those verse notes though. If the verse was in the range of the chorus and the chorus a little higher, I think I would have pulled it off just a little better.
On a side note, you are a drummer? Or...am I remembering that wrong? If you are, you did a GREAT job with the drums. If you're not, you did an AMAZING job with the drums.
I play a mean bass/snare combo on my keyboard but that's the extent. I'm mostly of a piano/keys background. Superior Drummer 3 is just so easy to use and has it's own built in mixer for each drum piece. It also has a nice drag and drop for placing in the drum parts for verse/chorus/fills, etc. I will be using the tool more productively on future tracks!