It's all the same to me.

Is there a German piano called the Volksplunker? If not should we invent one? Might get some good kilometerage from that. It would be small and the commercials would tout Das Plunker. Meine Plunker freude, slips off the tongue. Or so said Herr Doktor shrinken tinker boxer, miene mutter dear.

Auf weiner seins. Just to mix in a new language. In case you wonder seins is French. And weiners are universal, or short legged extended dogs.

I was perplexed today, that after a close examination of my spam box (not the one that comes with a key and that meat stuff, the email one) that consensus is that a certain part of my anatomy is lacking, which is the general thrust of the messages, and a close second opinion is that many millions of dollars are mine if I'd only part with my banking information. In fact as we speak some poor jerk is waiting at an un-named airport carrying a box with 25 million American Dollars in cash, waiting for me, despite my anatomical shortcomings. No one is sending me canned meat messages regarding my musical abilities or lack thereof. I can however, after careful review, reveal that the third most mentioned message I'm receiving involves vast quantities of discounted pharmaceuticals. These are meant to make up for the first deficiency where I'm anatomically inferior, buy endowing me with a prowess that would make a rhinoceros jealous.

I think at least 1,000 million dollars awaits me, signed by people who appear to know me through Christ, for they mention him in almost every email. In fact, all over Africa people who die seem to have large sums of cash to share with poor anatomically deficient John, and once I get that cash I may purchase on-line pharmacological products at a discount, that I will probably share them with anyone here who may find themselves in a similar position of diminutive or malfunctioning appendages.

And, the acquisition of all this cash, coming to me from Africa, will allow me to acquire a large estate with rooms full of Bosendorfers, Yamahas, and other grand type instruments. I should pay more attention to the spam box/can for my fame is spread far and wide, with messages coming from all corners of the globe, some in Chinese which I stared at and realized that they mention in passing a symbol for klieneweinerism, and that they have the new ginseng enhanced blue pill as a cure for that condition.

I sure hope the aforementioned poll will result in the winner being piano. I'd be suspicious it turns out to be harpsichord.

John Conley
Musica est vita