PG Music Home Forums General Discussion Off-Topic Tiger Woods - Shave and a haircut

Here's a comedy clip on Tiger's accident:

http://outofbounds.nbcsports.com/2009/11...sprint.html.php

And just to make it a music related post, "shave and a haircut, two bits".

LOL

Bob

Please watch the video.

This is probably the most accurate report of what happened that we have!

Hehe.

Bob

That's it?

This is probably the most racially diverse post we’ve ever had!

Let’s see; Tiger Woods, who is Afro-
American/Asian, gets his a** kicked by his Swedish wife, (or as the lady in the video called her, “big Viking bi**h”), model/nanny who worked for Jesper Parnevik, who is a Swedish golfer.

And then he drives his Cadillac through a fire hydrant made in China and crashes into a Dutch Elm tree.

And it’s all because of an American sl*t that Tiger screwed in Australia!

All while he was taking pain killers made in Canada!

Are we living in a global community or what?

LOL

All of this is in jest, in case Tiger, the Swedish wife, Chinese fire hydrant manufacturers, Dutch Elm tree seeders, Canadian drug makers, or kangaroo farmers in Austalia want to sue me. It's just a joke! Hehe.

Bob

I heard (didn't look at your video) that his Sweedish wife used a Nike Nine Iron to practice percussion on him and his lip, then showing him the nice noise the back window makes as it explodes in tiny pieces, hauls him out of the Caddy and renders him unconscious. The injuries are inconstant with a low speed crash, and as most have not seen his face we are left to wonder if he's letting it heal before his coming out party where he will re-iterate that she saved his life in an accident.

John.

Please watch the video.

It's a black lady comedian, and as I said before, this is probably the most accurate report we've gotten so far.

Bob

Good one Bob.

Unfortunately it does show how unreliable our news media is now days.

I guess the price of celebrity is to have your laundry washed out in public. Glad I'm a nobody.

Don S.

So much for "ironing" things out with his wife.

I wonder if she calls him "ol' Woody".

How Swede it is!

Ian

Well folks, I suspect that this story is going to take a lot of twists and turns before it finally plays out.

The publicity doesn't look too good for Tigger though.

And the comedians are going to have a field day.

Glenn

Quote:

---

And the comedians are going to have a field day.

---

All in the cost of being a celebrity.

Don S.

It seems Tiger might have been swinging his putter at a second hole that was out of bounds!

Another woman has stepped forward with 300 text messages from him detailing a 31 month affair. It seems she didn’t like the other mistress getting all the attention.

http://www.tmz.com/2009/12/01/florida-tr...er-tiger-aol%2F

(second story down)

I guess the Swedish model wife had at least two reasons to “tee off” on “ol’ Woody”. It seems he had one too many clubs in his bag. Or maybe it was the club that was out of the bag?

Too many holes on the course?

I was a Tiger Woods fan all the way from his amateur days until well after he turned pro.

But here is why I’m having some fun at Tiger’s expense:

This is a story I read somewhere, I think it might have been in one of the golf magazines.

One of the previous Masters champions was putting together a collection of golf balls signed by the past 15 or 20 Masters champions. These were going to be sold as a set and the proceeds were going to go to a charity for handicapped children.

He approached Tiger and told him what he was doing and asked Tiger to sign a ball to complete the set. Tiger refused. It’s Tiger’s “policy” to not sign golf balls because he’s afraid someone might make a buck off that signature.

Consequently, the set sold for a fraction of what it would have if it had had Tiger’s signature in it. The loser was the charity for handicapped children.

Tiger’s arrogance caused me to go from a fan to someone who loves it when he slices one into the trees. The only reason he makes all the money he does is because of the fans.

Previous “greats” in the game like Jack Nicklaus, Arnold Palmer, Greg Norman, etc. would sign anything you asked them to because they knew the fans were the reason they had the pleasure of doing what they love and making a damn good living from it!

Tiger is arrogant enough to believe he doesn’t need the fans and cringes at the thought that some poor schmuck might make a buck off his signature.

So I say, late night comedians, have a field day at his expense.

People likeTiger Woods are easy prey for both the media and light night talk. It is easy to criticize, and hard to understand what people like him go through. I am not trying to excuse any bad conduct, but i fail to see how that is anyones business but his and his family. Just because someone is a "star" does not mean that they are not entitled to some level of privacy. after all "stars" are humans just like us, and subject to frustrations, and pressures of life like everyone else, many times far more than we can imagine. They make mistakes and do bad things, and one of the saddest things to me is how high of a standard this society holds them to. Just look at the tabloids at the market, pictures of movies and sports stars in comprimised situation, headlines like the recent inquirer for Nicole Eggert, "baywatch bulges" How cruel and thought less. It is the silly hero worship of todays society that creates the Britney's and other celebs that seem to self destruct in front of our eyes. It is okay for everyone else to get older and fatter. but heaven forbid a movie to TV star gain a few pounds. Some camera hound will find them in a private moment take a long didstance photo, and plaster it all over the news stands.

Tiger committed a traffic offense, with a fine of $165, not a double murder! As far as to whether he signs autographs, well that is a reason for whether you like him as a golf star, and whether you would spend money on his endorsed items, or go see him events. But it is not a reason to laugh at his humiliation, or pain. In my mind that is just wrong, and i doubt anyone here would like it if it were done to them, or a good friend. Human compassion is not cancelled, just because we do not like the policies of someone we really do not know. We are not privy to the terms of his endorsement contracts, or any other business issues, and what others stars might or might not do, is again choices. What he did we might never know, but one thing for sure common decency dictates that we show some level of compassion, especially if it is true, and his wife and children must bear the pain of the aftermath.

Rob,

Well said.

'Nuff said.

-Scott

Rob,

I think it's hilarious that you're getting all defensive for someone as arrogant as Tiger Woods.

I didn't talk about signing autographs. I mentioned that he wouldn't sign a golf ball for a handicapped childrens charity. And this wasn't a request from John Q. Public. This was a request from a previous Masters winner in the lockeroom.

Shame on Tiger!

When you step into the spotlight and enjoy it's fame and fortune, then you should also accept it showing your blemishes.

Tiger didn't just cheat on his beautiful wife, he cheated on his children also. He needs to be man enough to step forward and admit it. But he won't. Not now or ever.

He is an arrogant SOB.

Tiger needs to get credit for the great golf swing he has. His fans and the general public need to be credited for making him rich while doing it. And because of that, he is accountable to those fans. They are paying his "salary". So he does have to answer to them, or he should quit. The same as us having to answer to our employers.

If he doesn't like the heat, he should stay out of the kitchen. Or at least be man enough to own up to his behavior while he's in there.

This started out as humorous post with a lady comedian. I know that more than a few of the PG family are golfers so I thought they would get a laugh out of it. It wasn't supposed to be a debate.

Lighten up.

Bob

Bob i can see your point, and certainly with fame goes scrutiny, sadly. I am not so much defending Tiger Woods as tired of the general view that one is guilty before absolute proof, and tired of the society's desire to attack celebs for any mishap. All I am saying is that we as a society should not expect so much from celebrities. They are no better than you or I. I if i made a msitake of poor judgement, and even got involved in bad conduct, I would hope that others would not burn me for it, with no concrete truth.

I thought of the Bible passage where Jesus told the religious leaders who drug an adulterous woman before him " those with no sin throw the first stone" I bet many of those who write this stuff in the media have done things that would make Tiger seem like a virgin.

Also let's remember that he stands accused, and certainly not convicted of any crime. We have allegations and rumors. We have all seen people come up out of the weeds to accuse a celeb when they think they can get a moment in the sun.

There is no need to lighten up as i am not upset with anyone, just stating a point. One I think is very valid.

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts, but i choses not to jump on anyone suffering pain, even a arrogant over paid superstar. For one thing, with any blessing come malediction. So if he is truely as you say he has his own personal accounting to justify. respectfully Rob

Rob,

I understand better now where you are coming from. You are taking a Christian stance and that is admirable.

As I said before, this was started as a humorous post because of the lady comedian.

I couldn't possibly care less about who has gained weight or who looks good in thier bikini. Or even who's cheating on who.

I do take offence to people like Tiger who never credit thier fans for making them who they are. So I guess I do take pleasure in jokes at his expense.

Shucks, I even take pleasure in jokes at my own expense! So I'm not being hypocritical or judgemental. I confess my sins and shortcomings to all my friends and family. Even to my employer.

We are Tiger's employer. So he does owe the public an honest explanation. Not some BS like he posted on Twitter.

As I said before, if he doesn't like the scrutiny, he should quit. I hope he doesn't and I know he won't, but that's his only option of not having strangers poke into his life.

Your reasons are good for the stance you're taking.

Take care Rob

Bob

Here is a terribly bad CGI Chinese re-enactment of Tiger's accident:

http://www.break.com/index/chinese-tiger-woods-accident-reenactment.html

I especially like the part where the wife is chasing the SUV with a golf club. They seemed to have followed the lady comedian's script.

LOL

Bob

I think he was practicing up to crash the next White House party!