I think this is a really good start to a mix for a great song.
At the moment the mix is crowded and the song doesn't seem to know which way it wants to go.
The strings are too dominant in parts and their style is counter to the smooth jazz. You also cut them too abruptly when they go.
The passages without strings really works well as the elements belong together and have a good balance.
On 2nd listen it's the combination of strings & vocal that cause the most claustrophobia for me.
Reducing the strings volume and giving them some more reverb might seat them better and allow the vocals to flow. Similarly reducing or dropping the guitar solo bits when the strings are pumping may help.
I like the string arrangements but not necessarily where they sit.
Lots of great ideas and a cool song just not quite "together" at present.

Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe