On your example, I suspect removing the breathing may take a little out of it.
It's well done and will likely fit a mix well; they have their own space/sound. Breathing adds a little 'intimacy' which (in my head) I hear as the direction the song is heading.
And....lets hear yours....
^ It's interesting because when I started to follow your lead and create a vocal only track it was difficult to try to not hear the other parts (that I knew existed) in my head as I listened.
It will also be interesting to see how your actual full song fits into my 'preconceived impression' of the rest of the tracks after hearing the vocals.
