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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 78
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Hi Dani48,
I was torn about writing this post, because I want to be clear from the start that this is an excellent song. It's lots of fun and it really does capture that Beach Boys vibe. But I just thought you should know that -- and this comes from a native English speaker -- you might think about some minor modifications to the lyrics. First, "The boards are ready and so should we" doesn't really work. Maybe nobody else found that jarring, but I did. You could say "the boards are ready and so should we be," with "be" at the end there, but since "be" is not part of a rhyme, maybe something like "The boards are ready and we are, too," might work better. And secondly, "afar" is a word used only in poetry; no English speaker would really say "you and me afar." Maybe you could work in "there we are" or something.
But I want to be clear, I just said that in the spirit of helpfulness to someone that I thought might be operating in a second language. With or without these notes, your song is a lot of fun. I wish I could come up with songs like that, and I enjoyed it a lot.
Have fun,
Buttrey
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Hi Danny,
As soon as this started, I was tempted to look for some bell-bottom jeans, some beads and let my hair grow!
This is really nice - great vocals and the production is terrific. Like the key modulation, too. Really cool!
Alan
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Very energetic surfing song, the arrangement has almost a rock sound, oohs work well. Enjoyable song for these amazing warm days here in Finland  Janne
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Hi, Floyd !:))
Thank you so much for your
most kind words !
I had some expressions
that no english speaking
person would have used
but maybe it did not hurt
too much ! Inj any case
I will put the suggestions
behind my ear and learn
from them !
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Beatmaster !
...and thank you for your
most kind words !
sorry about my bad english
no pun intended !
Cheers
Dani
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Dani this is your best surfing song to date. I had a flashback to the Jan & Dean days!
Excellent!
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Loved this Dani. Loved the way it jumped right in. Vocals and harmonies were very cool...
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Fun tune! 
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Hi, Peter !
Thank you so much for your
most kind comments !
I could not really get the
oohs aahs exactly to bend
completely to my will but
they do sing quite nice anyway ?
(giggle) !!!
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Dave !:))
I really don´t remember
playing on the last one
but you are right in the
sense that should put
in more solos really !:))
In any case, Dave ! I´m
much obliged by your most
kind words !
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Robert !
Muchas gracias !
Many thanks for your
most kind words that
leaved me feelin´a bit
humble !
Cheers
Dani
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Hello, Dani
Your Falsett is alive.
Very cool and comfortable!
Your surf song is always a big fun.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
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Hi, Rob !
Very many thanks
to you for your most
kind comments !
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Bud & Janice !:))
Thank you both for your
most kind words ! Really
warmed me inside coming from
real surfers and all !:))
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Buttery !
Thank you for your concern
about my bad english ! I do
appreciate that you corrected me
though I guess you would not
let me some artistic freedom
regarding the lyrics !
I could have written : " The boards
are ready and so are we" but I
wanted to point out the urgent
situation by " so should we"
knowing very well it was not correct !
I just did not want to rewrite the
passage - I´m sorry for having
stepped on your toes !
Using afar instead of rewriting the
passage was another deliberate
misuse from my side, sorry for that
too !
I am glad that you nonetheless
liked the tune and want to thank
you for your most kind words regarding
it !
Cheers
Dani
Last edited by dani48; 06/09/18 09:25 AM.
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Oan ye go Dani
Yi shuld no tae talk bettr englush thn that.
ya wee bad yin.
Hots mon its a braw bric moonlit nite.
From Beatmaster a stull say yur song was a belter.
belter in British
(ˈbɛltə )
1.
an event, person, quality, etc, that is admirable, outstanding, or thrilling
a real belter of a match
2.
a.
a rousing or spirited popular song that is sung loudly and enthusiastically
b.
a person who sings popular songs in a loud and spirited manner
Last edited by beatmaster; 06/08/18 12:35 PM.
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Hi, Al & Di !
Did you find those
bell-bottomed jeans ???
and how about the hair ?
(chuckle)
I´d love to see you Al in
that outfit and condition
that you described !!!
Okay, jokes aside, I thank
you so very much for your
most kind comments !
Cheers
Dani
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Hi, Janne !
Thank you for your
most kind cpmments !
Cheers
Dani
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Another Dani classic. You are certainly a versatile singer and really capture the surfer vibe.
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Hi, brother Mario !
Thank you for your most
kind assessment ! Always
so nice to get your
inspiring comments !
Take Care !
Cheers
Dani
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