Hi Scott,

I'm not offended in the least. You've done a great job with the words. I really like your reduction and the flow of syllables in your more economical version.

When I wrote the lyrics, I had a rhythm in my head and I also started some lines so that the first strong beat of the lyric phrase was on beat 2 or beat 3 of a bar. I totally understand that how words and music align is completely governed by how many syllables are possible in a phrase and where the phrase starts musically.

I checked out "DECIDUOUS" at the online Merriam-Webster dictionary (link below) and here in Oz, we pronounce it exactly the same as the audio in that link.


https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/deciduous


I had a listen to "Kara"... it's excellent in every way! Thanks for posting the link. I've never heard it before. I see why it's stayed your memory. Everything about it sits so well and carries the listener along on a well-designed wave of sound and story-telling.


Also....

Feel completely free to do whatever you want with the lyrics -- rewrite, add, subtract, rearrange, etc. I promise that I won't be offended. Quite the opposite in fact, I'm really curious to hear where you'd take them!

All the best,
Noel

P.S. Something that just happened in my head as I was re-reading through your version of words is that the phrase "Dies when summer is done" appeared in my mind as an answer to "Thrives in summer sun". Neither of those phrases ever once occurred to me before. That really brought home to me one of the big strengths in co-writing (which I do very little of).

MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025