I like the way you can capture the feel of both Dylan and Springsteen.

Your voice lends well to this style.

Really good job of the lyrics. Man they could have been a Springsteen write from back in his Asbury Park days on the Jersey shore.

Personally, if you're redoing this, I'd do a slight rewrite and eliminate the many repeats BECAUSE... man you don't do that in the first verse and it just flows extremely well and shows the gritty side that Springsteen is soooo good at doing. Don't get lazy in the chorus and the second verse.

Quote:
Johnny pumps gas near an overpass
At a Union 76 He feeds his dreams to a coin machine
He’s got a toolbox full of tricks He married his high school sweetheart
On graduation night They made love in the parking lot Under some neon lights
Now she works at a grocery on the boulevard
And she says Life would be so easy Johnny But it’s gotten So damned hard So damned hard


Man, that's freaking brilliant writing right there..... It takes you into the story and makes you feel the heat of the night and the sound of the coins dropping into the pinball machine.

I'm sure the sax and guitars parts were great, but they are playing together and over each other hiding the brilliance of each other in the confusion.

This song has potential to be a slam dunk knock out. But it needs some more work.

Last edited by Guitarhacker; 06/14/18 07:25 AM.
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