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Dave,
A cool, breezy, jazzy rock sound/feel. Nice use of the BAND.
An interesting story line, nicely done.
I would agree that the high end (EQ) could be knocked down - on the vocal mostly... a bit on the drum track. I like the crispness of the others instruments, so I think warming the vocal up would make it all work together. And adding some harmonies in the choruses.
This is surprisingly catchy. I'm still singing along in my head...
fj Hey Floyd, Thx for chiming in. I also thought this sounded a bit hot from the outset. That is always a weak spot for me. Anyway, you created a monster. I haven't even gotten to the harmonies on this one yet, and finished another one tonight. That too is missing b/u vocals and harmonies. I thought I would really miss playing on my own tracks. While I realize I still can, quite frankly I haven't much seen the need in the last 3 tunes I've done. Not playing and solely concentrating on writing and producing is kind of freeing. I get enough playing in my cover band. 
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Hello and welcome to the forum!! This is really good! Very well put together. It is unusual to put such a deep lyric to a happy smooth jazz feel but I think it works. I'm not listening on a good playback system but it sounded maybe a little sizzly. I have a lot of problem taming treble myself. Great to hear this fine tune.....come back soon!! Take care. Greg Thanks much for the comments and listen Greg. It is greatly appreciated. Thx also for the welcome. Dave
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I really like the flow of this song! Wonderful job. Thanks for sharing. Thank you greatly Ember. I appreciate your time. Dave
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David, excellent work! Not sure if you did this intentionally, but it sound like the minor-key mood embraced your lyric as it talked about troubles, but then the harmonic background switched to a brighter, major key as you talked about the good to come--really insightful, I thought. Same switch seemed to occur with the jazzy/edgy mood of the style moving to a comfortable pop-type mood. Excellent production and really great use of the elements of BIAB!
In terms of feedback:
on the lyric "I walked out of rehab"..the melody forces an unnatural syllable emphasis..better I think would be something like "I left rehab for good".
I like "doing time" better than "serving time"..the first part of "serv" is not as smooth-sounding as "do".
I really don't like the work "wreck" used anywhere (Amazing Grace is ruined, I think, with the use of that word in the lyric), but I love how you paired 'message' with 'wreckage'.
Excellent design with the "stop/think/remember" calls!
I sense that this song is highly true to your personal story..that is great; however, I think that, for the benefit of the song's best design, sometimes you (we) need to flex the story a bit. I'm thinking about your line about the 'chips'..I know how important that statement is, but I also think that "chips" is another awkward work to the ear, and I would look to modify that line with something that brings the same meaning, but uses words that are, again, smoother-sounding.
Like how you changed the rhyme scheme at the end so that lines 1+2 worked together and that let you marry up 3+4, thereby making your 'final message' resound more strongly.
Just my thoughts.
Great work! Tano, Thank you for the detailed critique/ It is very helpful. I wish I could take credit for splitting up the major and minor chords per the lyric, but I must admit that was just a happy accident I guess. I am not that sophisticated a writer. When I write, I sit down with my guitar, come up with a progression and melody I like .... humming at first and try my best at coming up with a lyric. Not much more to it than that, for me. I find the production and arranging part, far more enjoyable. As far as the story, I am happy to say this is not my story. the truth is this is not even about anyone I know. It is a story, on the other hand, that i think most people have heard before. Thanks again for the listen and comments. It is greatly appreciated. Dave l
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Really nice work It is so smooth, and has a really authentic modern feeling to it. Some really stunning and relatable lyrics as well. That aside, the groove is great and your vocals are on point. Wonderful job on this one - thanks for sharing! Thank you for giving this a listen Deryk and commenting. It is greatly appreciated. Dave
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Just listening to song in totality...we really like the write, the vocal and the arrangement. It's a very cool vibe. The lyric is very poignant but that's life. And we like songs that reflect all aspects of it.
I agree after several listens with floyd's notion that it's mostly the vocal contributing to the high end feel that folks have alluded to.
Regarding the drums I used to go through all kinds of hoops with RD's, e.g., doubling them, tripling them, adding a snare track, etc...and then I discovered Waves CLA Drums. $29 and I've been drum happy ever since. I use one preset with a couple of tweaks and that's it. Oh, I turn off ALL BiaB reverb on RDs and RTs and set the tone to 0.
This is a very strong song!
Hey J and B,
J&B I definitely need to go back and eq the vocals better and look at the drums again, as well. Appreciate the suggestions and always appreciate you taking time to give my songs a listen. I can only aspire to achieve anything close to your recordings. Thanks again, Dave
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Hello, David
Very nice Jazzy rock tune!
I agree with Peter.
A really nice sophisticated pro sounding tune, well mixed and performed - sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of Band In A Box already.
And I thought that you were used to making songs very much.
Enjoyed my listen a lot.
Best regards.
Shigeki Adachi Thanks much Shigeki. I am new to BIAB, but not new to writing songs. I have been writing songs and playing guitar for years. Wish I had learned about BIAB a long time ago. Thx for giving this a spin, Dave
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Hello David,
Cool song! This style is right up our alley. We do a lot of Smooth Jazz, Smooth R&B, EZ Funk and Jazz Rock.
Listing the BIAB tracks you used would make it somewhat easier to give more technical opinions. The drums are, perhaps, EQ's slightly too bright, but that's not a real problem for me as I like the sizzle of the cymbals, the tingle of the ride, etc. I bring out the kick by EQing it - bring up lower mids (200 - 300)and the upper bass tones (60 - 100). It works pretty good most of the time for me.
I do agree with a few others about knocking down the upper EQ on your voice. But, not a lott. I'd bring it down from slightly crackling to crisp. But, the quality of your voice is terrific! And the interpretation you gave the lyric was really cool.
All in all, I really liked it - seriously. A few touch ups and this is top shelf all the way. Good luck with it.
Best to you.
Alan Thank you so much for your comments. I tried to list the BIAB files in an earlier reply. Wish I could figure out how to copy and paste the files, but my computer isn't allowing me to do it. I use a Mac and have the 2018 audiophile version of BIAB. No luck on copy and pasting from the song memo or anywhere else that I can find. In any event, thank you so much for giving this a spin. It is greatly appreciated. Dave
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David,
I love this sound... so smooth and engaging! Your vocals sit very comfortably with the style as you take on a memorable musical journey. Really nicely done!
It's definitely two thumbs up from me!
All the best,
Noel Thank you much Noel. I really appreciate you taking the time to give this a listen. Also, thanks for giving me some technical help in another forum. Absent your assistance, I am not sure this song would have been finished. "Freezing" the tracks and then unfreezing and regenerating caused me lots and lots of problems. Dave
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David
This song is progressing really well--stay with it. You've gotten some great feedback above. I, like you, am new to BIAB, but I'm incredibly impressed with the "band" you've so quickly pulled together--great sound. It all hangs together really well, and you've got some nice pipes to go with. Don't know why, but have this feeling I'll be very envious of how quickly you'll pick things up. Keep up the great work!
All the best,
Deej
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Yeah! I love this, great groove happening, good lyrics and vocal.
Overall a very good song, enjoyed the listen.
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