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Hello forum friends! One of the things I like almost as much as music is humor. I rarely mix the two....this song being a rare exception. One day I woke up and this line came into my head (title). I thought that was really weird but I decided I was just going to write and see what happened. This did. Hope you get a chuckle out of it. I'd love to hear your feedback. Take care. Greg https://soundcloud.com/gjohnson-2/ifiwasadogIF I WAS A DOG If I was a dog, I’d be free as the breeze Wanderin’ ‘round markin’ mailboxes and trees Just one of the mutts, playing tag, sniffin’ butts Not tryin’ to be crude, but I’d have dog attitude If she was a dog, she’d have a fine pedigree Spend long afternoons with the ladies at tea Have papers that linked her to the most regal hounds The upper of the uppermost crust to be found We’d have no more in common than Juliet and Romeo The scourge of the pound and the best in the show If I had a master, he’d sleep in his van Smoke cigarettes, drink beer straight from the can Wear dirty T-shirts and have vulgar tattoos Yellow teeth, uncombed hair, and wear trashy old shoes Her master would be the quintessential success Well-bred, educated, and impeccably dressed And she herself, I fine dog, would be smothered in riches And be seen at the park with the finest of [*****] (remember, were talkin’ about dogs here) In this protracted metaphor, you may find no surprises But, then again, certainly one question arises Of all the proverbial fish in the sea What the hell is she doin’ with me?
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Greg
A lyrically clever and entertaining write. Some great metaphors and interesting and humorous throughout.
Lovely vocal (which was not a surprise) and a complimentary backing track to complete the song.
Excellent work and a fine song.
Peter
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Very good Greg! Fine vocal as always, and lots of great lines. My favorite:
"Not tryin’ to be crude, but I’d have dog attitude"
A fun listen!
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Greg,
Funny and well sung as well.
The humour & delivery is very Nilsson.
My only gripe is the link between verses & choruses - seems perfunctory - you could set up the next section with a couple of chords and a lick of the melody.
Nevertheless - nice job.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
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Just loved this Greg. Very much and feel good song. Another super vocal. Well done
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Nice simple waltz with great vocals, interesting chord progression and lush mix. Nice to get a dog's view for a change on this forum  Reminds me of Paul McCartney. Janne
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Hi Greg,
Simply wonderful and absolutely inspired.
I'm in awe of how you've taken an unlikely and frivolous title and
turned it into a gentle love song.
Fabulous.
ROG.
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A quintessential country love song! Loved it.
-- David Cuny My virtual singer development blogVocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?BiaB 2025 | Windows 11 | Reaper | Way too many VSTis.
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Greg,
This is one of the best written songs that has ever been posted here.
Or anywhere.
Writing at the highest level.
Every. Single. Word.
I wanted to quote the best lines. But that would be THE ENTIRE SONG...
The simple piano/bass/strings arrangement is perfect. Your vocal is cool - it would work perfectly for a animated dog cartoon video.
(Maybe Pat Marr would do one!!)
Randy Newman should put this on his next record. (Really)
So far out of the park it ain't funny.
ZOWIE. ZOWIE. ZOWIE.
fj
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Greg,
Witty, cute and wordly wise lyrics - cool that you followed through on that idea.
I was picturing scenes from 10001 dalmations as it played- could really see this getting interest for an animated film.
Your vocal brings the meaning home & the simple arrangement works well.
Great song.
Robert
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Excellent...attempts at humor/wittiness often don't work, but this is a 'BEST IN SHOW' kind of song. Loved your vocal, fit perfectly, and the lyric construction matches the melody exactly--I take that as a sign of expert writing.
Really enjoyed it!!
Windows 11, Intel Core i5-8600T 2.3Ghz, 16 gig ram, BIAB 2025 MegaPak, SampleTank 4, Keystation49 Kybd, Neewer NW-800 mic
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Greg, your vocals are always among the best presented here on this forum! but you have outdone yourself here! There is certainly some vivid imagery in your lyrics and I had a constant smile going the whole way with a laugh or two. You are creative sir! Someday you may consider writing another lyric (a more serious one) and use your melody here. It is absolutely beautiful!!! Great work Greg! Thanks, Torrey
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Agree with some of the above comments, This would/ should be the intro middle and finish for a nice doggy film.
Enjoyed this.
win 10 64 bit 16gb,i7 chip, ssd 500gb, m-audio air, ,Roland BK-7M, 1000,shure sm7b,sonar,acid,mixcraft, variety of plugins.Sample tank 3,Kontakt. TC Helicon Voicelive 3 2 . https://beatmaster1.bandcamp.com/releases
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Wonderful song. Truly entertaining. A perfect lyric and masterful vocal. Nothing to complain about. This is just fantastic songwriting and a brilliant performance. Loved it
Dave
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Yes I agree wonderful. A truly wonderful song. Touching, heartfelt and poignant.
Great vocals.
Really enjoyed this one Greg.
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 It sounds trite but what can possibly be added to all of the above comments! Absolutely hilarious and yet poignant...how'd you pull that off? WOW!!! Is this ever one to share. J&B
Our albums and singles are on Spotify, Apple Music, Amazon Music, YouTube Music, Pandora and more. If interested search on Janice Merritt. Thanks! Our Videos are here on our website.
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Brilliant,
brilliant lyrics
brilliant choice of style and mood
laugh out loud funny
and I really like your melodic vocal phrasing
(it's a righteous tail and not at all fishy)
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Nilsson was mentioned
I think that's a wonderful compliment
and I agree, It's so easy to imagine him doing this song
great sense of humor, very clever write
excellent vocal
a fine song, enjoyed the hell out of it!
Kenny
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
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Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe
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We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
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XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
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Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Mac & Windows Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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