Cool tune...

I saw a documentary on James Brown.... seems he was quite the demanding task master with his bands. Precision and perfection were the rules of the day. In fact, in one of his live show videos, you can hear him yell "Got Cha" to the drummer who missed a syncopated beat. He charged a fine for such infractions of his rules.

Your tune was funky. All it was lacking was the Godfather himself yelling "Hit me"... "Owwwww"... "Get it baby"

You can find my music at:
www.herbhartley.com
Add nothing that adds nothing to the music.
You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both.

The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.