It's a well constructed ballad with a great narrative.
The 1st percussion note seems to come in oddly or conflict with the vocal a bit.
I agree with Tangmo about lines in that verse. The read a little oddly and that's reinforced by the change in meter of the delivery.
Otherwise it's fabulous.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe