I'm not sure I'd call the opening strings ambient/calm/serene they suggest tension to me.
The 2nd section - after the silence - the plosives on the 1st syllable need addressing and I'm not sure that the timing between vocal and strings works.
Vocally you've done a cool job but there a few spots that do need tuning eitehr by retracking or through technology.
I think you played the silence/pause card too often - it started to create and meet expectations.
I think it's a cool idea and will be ace with some fine tuning.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe