Quote:

Kevin, I'm a little nervous to say this . . . but I never turn my back on ideas. So hit me . . . and if it's too tough send me a PM.



No, not too tough (LOL). Since it is already a pretty good tune, the suggestions are just things to think about. Following them probably wouldn't make the song any better.

1.) Use of internal rhyme, alliteration or some other writing "trick" on the last line of each verse. I see you are rhyming with the first two lines on the last line, but the last line is too far away for the brain to catch that rhyme. So,
"Saying I wrote it all in a song or two." --> Saying I spelled it out in a sinful song or two. (I don't like "s" alliterations too much, though).
"It's purely circumstantial and it's sad to know you think I'd lie." --> It's purely circumstantial and now you want a trial by fire"
"Let the gavel fall and we'll find us a good strong limb." --> Let the gavel fall and you'll haul me to a tree that's tall.

As I said, these are no better than what you have, but since I think your intent was to rhyme them with line 1, you may want to reconsider for impact.

2.) Songs of this "era" don't need a bridge, but a stop and reflection type thing ("... well maybe that redhead in Reno" type thing, which clouds the guilt thing might make a nice replacement for one of the choruses.

Kevin

Now at bandcamp: Crows Say Vee-Eh @ bandcamp or soundcloud: Kevin @ soundcloud