I've always found PG Music's offerings to be extremely confusing. The problem is that there are too many packages. They need to simplify their purchase options. It would even help if they went to a simple Bronze, Silver, or Gold tiered system or something similar. The uninitiated would definitely appreciate it. I remember when I ran my first gauntlet and I know it would have helped me! I took some lumps and bruises along the way and fell a few times but with the help of this forum, a therapist, and the invocation of every deity in human history, I was soon trying to figure out the difference between entering a shot and a hold and the process took only 87 hours to complete!

However, the current offerings are crystal clear for those of us with extensive legal expertise, a doctorate in linguistics, the luck of the Irish, a tin of Crisco, and a shoehorn, BUT the shoehorn MUST work on a size 10 shoe ONLY and be made of hard, brown plastic. No other shoehorn options are suitable.

How can one be sure whether or not he/she needs the Pro-Mega-Ultra-Everything-Plus-And-Your-First-Born-Wrapped-In-A-Snuggie-Blanket-But-Only-If-His-Or-Her-Eyes-Are-Green-And-Born-On-The-Second-Tuesday-Of-The-Month-SuperPak or some other package?

How do you differentiate the above from the Mega-Everything-Ultra-Pro-Plus-Everything-And-Your-First-Born-Wrapped-In-A-Giant-Hot-Dog-Costume-With-Relish-And-A-Side-Of-Mayo-But-Only-If-His-Or-Her-Eyes-Are-BLUE-And-Born-On-The-THIRD-Friday-Of-The-Month-Super-Colossal-Pak? And God forbid if the eldest was born in any other week of the month! That unfortunate state of being requires a completely different Super-Mega-Ultra-PAK thingy!

Of course, throw in the different package options for number of digits on your driver's license ID number, the name of your first pet, the color of your wife's toenail polish when you purchased, and the color of that old mood ring you found in the back of your closet and you have the PG purchase system down cold. But be very careful with that mood ring option. It may break a non-seasoned PG Music customer to tears or even drive them to an asylum for respite because in order to know exactly which is best for their needs, the customer will need the color of the ring two weeks BEFORE they found it!

And for an additional 49.99 you can order the Wait-You-Didn't-Get-These-Goodies-But-They're-Included-In-The-Pro-Mega-Ultra-Everything-Plus-And-Your-First-Born-Wrapped-In-A-Snuggie-Blanket-But-Only-If-His-Or-Her-Eyes-Are-Green-And-Born-On-The-Second-Tuesday-Of-The-Month-SuperPak for both Green eyes AND Blue eyes! (See? We're nice that way!) Note: Brown Eyes will have to purchase the Oh-Crap-I-Bought-The-Wrong-Option-Hey-Customer-Service-Can-You-Help-Me-Ultra-Dunce-Cap-Pak.

Now a savvy customer may wonder, "Gee... why didn't these RealTracks make the final cut and be included in the full release I just paid for? Were they not good enough? And if they weren't good enough why must I pay an additional 50 bucks for them?" All great questions, but let's not get carried away! The important thing here is MORE! MORE is always better! You're paying for MORE! So what if you'll never use the Mouse Farting Underwater _MSEFRTTINYBUBBLES Real Track? The important thing is YOU HAVE IT!

Just kidding PG, but I do wish the purchasing options were simpler. Hey! Maybe that could be a new feature next year!

"Hey, Marketing..."

Last edited by BigWhirl2012; 12/03/18 01:10 PM.