You know what Pipeline I have given that serious consideration. What if I do pass away while on the table. I have a form filled out that if I die to not resuscitate. Of course, I filled it out haphazardly not really thinking that anytime soon I could actually die. Funny thing is I really think it might be a better option just because life really does suck. Now, I'm not suicidal and never would consider it. But, if it's your time it's your time and why fight it. I'm sorry to be posting heavy stuff like this and mean no offense to anyone I really don't but since I'm here in the now why not.
A very little about myself. I'm single never married and haven't any children no real friends except the usual acquaintances you make in life. Insert Violins here, lol. I'll be the first to admit I'm anti-social and don't make friends easily without a very long period of seeing if I can really trust this person and since I'm so anal that way no friends. I'm not looking for any sympathy I hate people that try to play that game. I'm just explaining the person I am. My real enjoyment in life is making music or at least trying to. My dream was to form a Jazz trio and just play for fun. My ideal trio is Me on drums, a great Upright Bass Player and a great Jazz guitar player. I never found that possible. Again the anti-social thing, but through BIAB I have lived out many fantasies with this unbelievable piece software and I'm forever thankful for that I found this site a few years ago.
It was truly a Godsend to me leading me to a better appreciation of music and the musicians that inhabit this place. I don't really know any of you, again the stupid anti-social thing but I have heard a few of your wonderful works and so appreciate how great musicians you truly are. I will admit I get jealous sometimes and wish I had started this journey many years earlier. But, I found PG Music and BIAB and really have nothing but thanks and thank God that people like this exist. I know many of your handles by reading the forums all the time, I'm just not big into contributing since I'm a relative musical noobie. I have spent more money than I care to admit on musical software, instruments, and turning a room in my home into a studio. All in vain to learn each one. But, I have what I guess you could call ADD and cannot seem to be able to concentrate on learning an individual instrument.
You know when you walk into a music store and buy an Archtop thinking how great they sound and then going home and plugging it in and strumming a few strings you realize why you did it. But then reality sets in and you actually have to try and learn how to play. Again, to me, it’s just impossible for me to learn especially at this stage in life when I work 60 hours a week and spend the rest sleeping, eating, and setting in front of this computer and BIAB. Just no time. I know its a bullcrap excuse, but I’m sticking with it. The drums are the only thing that I’m seemingly halfway good at and to be fair to real drummers out there I know I suck. But I enjoy the hell out of playing them and when I record myself playing with something from BIAB I swear sometimes I sound good.
I would say to anyone on here never ever let someone talk you away from doing this if you truly love music. Music to me is the essence of life itself. It soothes the savage beast and the non-savage as well. It gives meaning to all of life's precious moments and without music to my life would be meaningless. If I had to lose any senses I would pray it not be my hearing. I can do without seeing or talking. But music no way. Without hearing music life would be empty of all enjoyment.
So to finish a rather drawn out reply to Pipeline. If I find myself looking down at my body I’m not sure I’d want to return to it. I can think of a heavenly realm of musicians that have passed on playing in some huge band. Doesn’t matter the musicians who are there, it would just be like a comradery of people that appreciate music and the loved making it. I could sit there for an eternity listening to all the greats that have been and gone. Why would I pass that up? So, if you don’t see another post from me after Wednesday I’ve decided to join the choir invisible. Only time will tell. Just thought I’d share some of my private thoughts with people I appreciate for having a love of music like myself. I do look forward, to being honest, to recover and getting back behind my drumset and jamming with the greats. If the moderators feel they need to move this post I won’t be upset. After all, it’s is a forum for making music and as soon as I post this I’m back to BIAB making some more. Thanks to all of you for the inspiration and desire to continue this personal quest for making music that we all love and cherish.