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Hi fellows and gals.
Started to write this thing a couple of weeks ago. I do not know what to call it... Started as a poem. I thought of just reading it to the drum&bass beat first, but was fooling around with the recent update and new RTs, so this is what came out of it. No blame if you can not stay till the end, it is kind of long Big thanks to my wife and a couple of family friends who helped me write some of this. Unfortunately, I did not get them drunk enough to do other poetry projects...too many kids running around. Special thanks to Ray, a kind soul I met on this forum, that proof read this nonsense and made some cool suggestions. This tune is about a family vacation that's gone south.
Best regards,
Misha.

VACATION BLUEZ


The band:
Bass: 921: Bass, Acoustic, Bossa
Guitar: 3238: Nylon Rhytm BossaBrazilRamon
Harmonica: 2857, Background CountryPopJelly
Drums: RealDrums=BossaLewis
PedalSteel 603: Pedal Steels, Background Train
Accordion: I accidently forgot to write,
but I believe it was new Spanish Tango +Klezmer Pop
Older Sony FX.

Lyrics:
Summer arrived like train from New Delhi
Family’s ready to roast some pork belly
Kids in a cooler, six pack in the booster
Maybe reverse that... Got cheese.. Smells like a Muenster
Sad boring city left miles behind
couriers are fired, all planets aligned.

Grilling, canoeing, swimming, fixing the tent
Nuking marshmallows....oh so efficient.
Tired, but happy arrived at sundown
I chugged a cold one, and smiled like clown
I wandered in the boonies to get the fire lumbered
Armies of bugs – now, I ‘m outnumbered.

The deeper I trekked to find some timber
the darker it got can’t see my own fingers
No matches or flashlight, just holes in my pockets
Oh, wait I’ve found ...just a dry chicken nugget
I sang like a mermaid - screamed like a bear
The forest was blind to my cries of despair

I stepped in a swamp full of toads, flies and leeches
A haven on earth for green trolls, nymphs and witches
And there it was, like a desert oasis
A sign from above to could solve this damn crisis
A fine rustic cottage stood tall from the grasses
I though it an illusion and cleaned off my glasses

With heart pounding heavy I entered the grounds
I swear I heard creepy Hitchcockian sounds
I pulled the door handle inhaling strange scents
The squeaky ol’hinge gave away my presence.
Curious, but fighting Prince Hamlet’s question
I entered each chamber like a band in procession.

In a striped shirt... with a bent walking stick
A perfect example of lost/lonely Beatnik
Right by the mantle in a shabby armchair
A woman was staring through long grey hair
Beckoning softly, her voice low and gentle
Asked if I was looking for a reasonable rental

I said Senora, may I use the bathroom
To clean my old shoes of the dust and mushrooms?
She nodded her head and pointed the direction
I saw my pale self in the mirror’s reflection.
I opened the door looked once and then twice
“My gosh lady, is this a time travel device?”

The dials were pulsating with an ambient glow
One big button in the centre labelled "LETS GO".
All of a sudden the booze had spoken
I pressed the button, the machine had awoken.
The vortex was opened; I was flying through space
Envisioning futures in a billowing haze.

Climate is stable, there is no money
bees in flower fields still making honey
food is abundant, buses are flying
seven day weekends, people are smiling
Gears are clanking like jaw on a gator
The device is hot like a sizzling crater

Eyes are rotating in wild directions
Hair is chaotic, so too my complexion
Clothes are smoking and toasted like Smores
Beasts or men coming out through the doors.
What is this place? Who are these monsters?
Charging at me like brute, wild horses.

No place to hide or a run for that matter
Creatures approaching with strange, nasty chatter
I felt a strong grip upon my shoulders,
Tears of joy in the eyes of my beholders
I was preparing myself to be their dinner
but the crowd saluted me as a winner

The more I was hearing their intricate blather
The meanings formed in my fired grey matter
Thoughts coming back all blurry & upset
Of how I encountered that electrical CLOSET!
Looking at folk that awaited my comments
I had a series of Deja vu moments


Last night’s adventure, insane locomotion
The toxic effect of my bubbly potion
Having a bottle... one became "too many"
Felt like a dream, that is sad and uncanny
The "cottage" is the hut of the campground attendant
I hope the old lady was not too offended.


Memories burst, shinning to dazzle
Shapes merge as a completed jigsaw puzzle
Back to myself... here's my wife with the siblings
I’m fighting a swarm of newly born feelings
I glued a on smile for my facial expression
And our camping continued its happy progression.

"I sang like a mermaid - screamed like a bear"
Great line

Wow! rusty you used enough lyrics for three songs here.
Funny song-loved the burp.
Very original. Love it. Rob

I'd love to hear you do the Monster Mash.

Rusty,
that's an absolute hoot.
the music suits the narrative and the sound effects are hilarious.
Well done - I really enjoyed this.

Man, I am LOVING this! Well done :-)

Man! That is a lot of words! Freaking brilliant writing, Misha, just one great line after another!

Nice job on the track too, your use of stops, and the sound effects are fun too.

Very much enjoyed, nicely done!

Oh my,I`m reeling...laughing and swatting imaginary bugs. Tremendous crazygood lyrics delivered with panache.
And you have a wife who helps writing... well,enough said, you have talent and support!
Your vocals remind me of the singer from Bonzo Dog DooDah Band- he had a great sense of theatre too.

Robert

I had serious doubts anybody would sit put and listen through this craziness Thank you!

Rob, the burp was a "professional" FX, I am not that good at it yet. Thank you for listening!

Ray, Thank you!!!

Deacon, Toda Raba

Dave, Thank you for listening! Not sure about brilliance, maybe cubic zirconiance It was sure a fun challenge!

Robert, Thank you for listening and kind words. About wifes..: "By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." Socrates. I am lucky, got a choice "A".


Best regards,
Misha.

Misha, the amount of effort you put into getting the vocal phrasing right in this song is incredible! You must have worked for quite some time on this! Also, great use of effects scattered throughout! Thanks, T

Torrey,
Thank you!
It was tricky to get the phrasing right, but to be honest, I did not suffer When it is fun for me, things tend to flow in the right direction.

Misha.

Well, that certainly took an unexpected turn!

Pretty darned funny, and well done!

We listened through twice. Wow, this is an amazing write.

There are enough rhymes here for an album!

This is a very textured song that one will hear new things each time it is listened to.

Kudos on an epic project!

J&B

David, Thank you for listening and kind comments!

J&B you have nerves of steel. I do not think I would have enough patience to listen to this twice Thank you for excellent feedback.

Kind regards,
Misha.

This is a riot of cleverness and guffaws, and a truckload of lyrics. What fun!!!

Misha,

What a fun, crazy listen! This is so good in so many ways. your music is always a treat. This is a lot of talent wrapped up in one big bag. the sound effects are terrific. every line brought a new laugh - totally loved this! Congrats on a wonderful project.

Alan

Very clever writing!! Natural, comfortable story telling. Sounds like Dr. Seuss meets Hitchcock doing his own version of Hotel California. Enjoyed this a lot!! Take care. Greg

What a cool song Misha. Was chuckling through the whole song. Such creative lyrics and delivery. Well done

E.Storm, Alan, Greg, Scott.
Thank you, first of all for having a lot of patience!!
Secondly for warm acceptance and great feedback! It gives me more courage to write in English.

P.S. This is my first creative forum that I joined. Unexpectedly, I got very attached to this community. My wife teases me, saying: "you had found your clan!"... which is true in a way

Best regards,
Misha.

Hey, there, "Rustyspoon#"...

In your "Vacation Blues", I think we have another "first" in this forum, and one unique enough to be subtitled with something like, "The Brothers Grimm Freak Out and Take Us Along for the Ride" !!!

This is musical theater, really, that should be seen and heard while being performed "live", onstage, in front of an audience that would appreciate its length because, well, they're gonna stay-up all night and drink, anyway.

You really uncorked your imagination, here, "Rustyspoon#"! There's atmosphere a-plenty with the sound effects enriching the wildly inventive lyrics, which you deliver through your vocal as playfully as a father telling scary stories to his children. You didn't list your RealTracks choices, but they sound like something from the bossa nova genre.

As musical entertainment, "Vacation Blues" is irresistable!

Sincerely,

LOREN (a.k.a. "bluage")

Misha,

Your English lyrics are great. Many of my students cannot write as creatively as you, and they are native English speakers.

Misha, great use of sound effects! The very funny and interesting lyrics kept me engaged and entertained throughout. Well done, Tom