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Everything goes well. A super song.
One of your best.

Sergio



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Originally Posted By: HearToLearn
So I will give my opinion as though your song was a recipe on an online food forum.

I listened to this song to the letter. But here's the thing...it wasn't great.

I didn't actually have a way to "play" the actual song. Therefore, I didn't actually "hear" it. But from the comments of others, it seemed like it would be a good song. I just HAD to hear it so I got creative.

I'm not a singer, so I had someone next to me sing what they thought it might sound like. As it would turn out, she wasn't much of a singer either. She was also NOT the cheeriest person to be working as a cashier at Walmart this time of year either, I might ad.

Next, I couldn't follow what your intended phrasing was exactly, so we (The cashier and I) changed some of the words to see if we could make sense of it. Actually we had to change a lot of them. Now nothing seems to even rhyme. It's more a of a free form poem; and you should really state that if that's what your posting. Calling it a song is a bit of a stretch. Especially with no instruments.

I'm not sure how long it was supposed to be, because you didn't state that either; but I can tell you at over 14 minutes it's a bit long for my taste. That's not just MY opinion either. The people in line behind me at Walmart will attest to that! I think I see what the cashier wasn't overly happy. Those people get RUDE fast! Even with me reminding them that she was going as fast as she could.

I hate to be negative, especially with all the praise you've been getting on this and your other "songs" but I'm not feeling it. It certainly wasn't your best work.

I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and give it another listen when I get to something that can actually play the song. As it is right now, for me, nothin's workin' yet. Otherwise, maybe consider golf. wink


So...basically, you are saying.... NOTHIN'S WORKIN' YET. Right?


Quote:

---Ok, so it's another great song. It's just getting old saying that so often. wink It's always deserved though!


...and that. smile



Originally Posted By: Charlie Fogle
A great song. Top level write, performance and production. Something different this time. The song was inspiration for some of the most entertaining and imaginative comments I've seen posted on the forum. I thoroughly enjoyed the song as I browsed through the comments.


Thanks, Charlie. There have been some interesting comments throughout this thread... And I appreciate yours...



Originally Posted By: beatmaster
Late to the party on this one.

But better late than never, Floyd that was absolutely spellbinding to me.

All of the above posts have said it all.

How do you write so often and keep the quality, and the professional touch, that's heavy going to be able to keep doing songs to this standard ?.


Well... writing is "what I do". It is such an incredible thing that we have BIAB to allow us to have world-class musicians at our fingertips to realize our imagined finish product for what we do write. It is my favorite thing to do. So I just keep doing it...

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Originally Posted By: Don Gaynor
Quote:

Originally Posted By: Don Gaynor
I'm hearing a hint of Dylan in here, just a tad. Your writing is always top shelf, FJ!


Don - SO very nice to have you drop in for a listen! (I think that may be the first time anyone has accused me of sounding like Bob smile )


It's just the slightest nuance of Dylan. Your vox and style is so much better than Bobs. I've told him to his face that he can't sing. He's written some masterpieces but should leave the singing to others.

(Dylan lovers, holster them thar shootin' arns!)


smile smile wink




Originally Posted By: Sergio Guarneri

Everything goes well. A super song.
One of your best.

Sergio



Thanks, Sergio. Good to see you back around...

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Really like this one. Great general feel and arrangement. Can’t beat a really world-weary storyline. Heartfelt vocal. Excellent.

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floyd,

This deserves all the accolades that have come your way. It's excellent and I thoroughly enjoyed the laid-back, singer-songwriter journey you just took me on.

I love the open-ended nature of the lyrics where 'Nothing's working yet' just hangs there alongside the mystery of the 'shattered dream', 'endless scream' and 'giving up'. And although we never know precisely what these phrases reference, it doesn't matter.

As I listened to these words, I found that there was just the right amount of imagery to grab and maintain my attention while you skillfully painted a landscape of a small glimmer of hope rising over the horizon of the bleakness of hopelessness. I greatly admire these lyrics and I'd be on that proverbial 'cloud nine' if I could write words like these!

May Christmas and New Year bring you and your family good things.
Noel


MY SONGS...
Audiophile BIAB 2025
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