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OK, I didn't say this stuff, but this blog post I stumbled across is hilarious. The advice columnist on a Nashville blog site---"Nashville Scene" for crying out loud!--argues that modern country is tailored for people who people who are too poor to buy computers (or too stupid to turn them on) and is a blatant celebration of ignorance, dysfunction, alcoholism and crystal meth. It made me laugh so I thought I would share. (3 years old but still funny.) https://www.nashvillescene.com/music/article/13058610/chris-crofton-advice-king-sleazy-record-execs-finding-love-and-barbie-raceChris Crofton, Advice King: Envying the 'Super-Talented'; Final Four Picks Comedian, musician, host of The Chris Crofton Show and former Nashvillian Chris Crofton asked the Scene for an advice column, so we gave him one. Crowning himself the “Advice King,” Crofton will share his hard-won wisdom with whosoever seeks it. Follow Crofton on Facebook and Twitter, and to submit a question for the Advice King, email editor[at]nashvillescene[dot]com. Dear Advice King, My girlfriend has made plans for us to go out with her boss and his wife for dinner. She works for a sleazy record company exec with an ego the size of Mars. How do I make it through an evening of his insufferable bulls.... without saying something that could put my girl's job in jeopardy? Thanks, No Filter There are still sleazy record company execs? What are they selling? They certainly aren’t selling records. The No. 1 record on the Billboard charts this week sold 88 copies. They must be selling all their leather couches and glass-top coffee tables and J. Geils Band gold records on Craigslist. The only people who still pay for music are people who don’t know how to steal it with computers. Did you know that? Did you ever wonder why modern pop music sounds like it could only be appreciated by a child? That is because it is meant for children. Children don’t know how to use computers to steal music. Ed Sheeran is a muppet. Adam Levine is a muppet with herpes. Taylor Swift is a birthday pony. You know who else can’t steal music? People with no money. They don’t have computers. It is no coincidence that country music is the only musical genre that still sells physical copies — today’s country music panders to the poor. The lyrics are a mix of right-wing talking points and celebrations of escapist behavior — drinking, drug-taking, shooting guns and casual sex. The right-wing bull.... tells them that being poor is noble and fun (“Some folks sit and wait on the government check / Some of us have the sun beatin' down on our neck,” Billy Currington's “Lil’ Ol’ Lonesome Dixie Town”; and “Ain't no line around the corner, no security / No velvet rope, no dress code, everybody's VIP / You can wear your hat, dance in your bare feet / No credit card, no roll of cash, just BYOB,” Dierks Bentley's “Back Porch”), and the party instructions sell alcohol and keep the for-profit jail industrial complex thriving (“DRINK IN OR NEAR YOUR TRUCK, SON,” Everybody on the Radio). That Blake Shelton song “Boys 'Round Here” even gives a not-so-sly and super-awful shout-out to the meth crowd: "Yeah, the girls ’round here, they all deserve a whistle / Shakin’ that sugar, sweet as Dixie crystal." You can try to tell me that’s just about sugar, but it’s f...ing not. Glorifying dysfunction helps keep people dysfunctional. The less functional the public is, the more likely they are to buy CDs. “Hey Randy, pick up the new Florida Georgia Line CD when you’re out. They have an awesome new song called ‘Natural Light, Hot Cheetos and Jesus.’ And get some Natural Light and Hot Cheetos, too. And pregnancy tests. And come right back because I need the car to go to court.” “Man, my friend Onion said we could get that for free on a torrent.” “Your friend Onion bought a Taurus?” “Do what now?” I am a musician and would obviously prefer for people to pay for music, but trying to keep the poor poor — and drunk — is not the right way to do it. Act like adults, music biz people, and figure out a new model for selling art, because right now you’re selling advertising. Oh yeah, ADVICE. OK Mr. “No Filter” Man, can you really not control yourself? Be polite for your girlfriend’s sake. Be polite for your girlfriend’s money’s sake! If it helps, remember that this guy’s big ego is just how he compensates for the self-hatred that comes from working in the fading, artless industry I described above.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Apr 2009
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Well jump up, turn around, pick a bale of cotton..... that was as funny, in some places, as seeing Michelle O being nominated for most fashionable, articulate, and beautiful woman of the year...
I had no clue they were singing about crystal meth while referring to "dixie crystal"...... hummm.... Taylor Swift as a birthday pony, yep, I can make that connection.
Maybe I've been writing about the wrong things in my songs.....
You can find my music at: www.herbhartley.comAdd nothing that adds nothing to the music. You can make excuses or you can make progress but not both. The magic you are looking for is in the work you are avoiding.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Aug 2014
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OP
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Herb,
I see a few co-writes in our future. We'll do it this time!
In the meantime, I am totally running with:
‘Natural Light, Hot Cheetos and Jesus.’
I am going to do this straight-faced and send it in.
Swear to God.
If I'm lyin' I'm dyin.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Aug 2010
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That article did it's job...sell ads. Weather you like it or hate it; they released it to people to see ads.
I'm not sure if Tim Toonen still runs the scene as I haven't talked to him in a few years; but he is definitively about business. He's a great guy too; and one hell of a singer.
Not my kind of article; but saw who published it and took a look.
Chad (Hope that makes it easier)
TEMPO TANTRUM: What a lead singer has when they can't stay in time.
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Songwriting
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Joined: Aug 2014
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Caaron,
This one made me laugh the way I used to laugh at vintage Chris Rock though.
There is a certain "ouch" factor there in this comedy routine that is bound to make people squirm. It was what Chris Rock used to be so good at, and I thought this tapped into the same style.
Off the rails--but still....
Crazy. But not totally crazy.
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Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
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Season's Greetings!
Wishing everyone a happy, healthy holiday season—thanks for being part of our community!
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Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: The Newly Designed Piano Roll Window
In this video, we explore the updated Piano Roll, complete with a modernized look and exciting new features. You’ll see new filtering options that make it easy to focus on specific note groups, smoother and more intuitive note entry and editing, and enhanced options for zooming, looping, and more.
Watch the video.
You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Band-in-a-Box 2026 Video: AI Stems & Notes - split polyphonic audio into instruments and transcribe
This video demonstrates how to use the new AI-Notes feature together with the AI-Stems splitter, allowing you to select an audio file and have it separated into individual stems while transcribing each one to its own MIDI track. AI-Notes converts polyphonic audio—either full mixes or individual instruments—into MIDI that you can view in notation or play back instantly.
Watch the video.
You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Bonus PAK and 49-PAK for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®
With your version 2026 for Windows Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, Audiophile Edition or PlusPAK purchase, we'll include a Bonus PAK full of great new Add-ons for FREE! Or upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for only $49 to receive even more NEW Add-ons including 20 additional RealTracks!
These PAKs are loaded with additional add-ons to supercharge your Band-in-a-Box®!
This Free Bonus PAK includes:
- The 2026 RealCombos Booster PAK:
-For Pro customers, this includes 27 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles.
-For MegaPAK customers, this includes 25 new RealTracks and 23 new RealStyles.
-For UltraPAK customers, this includes 12 new RealStyles.
- MIDI Styles Set 92: Look Ma! More MIDI 15: Latin Jazz
- MIDI SuperTracks Set 46: Piano & Organ
- Instrumental Studies Set 24: Groovin' Blues Soloing
- Artist Performance Set 19: Songs with Vocals 9
- Playable RealTracks Set 5
- RealDrums Stems Set 9: Cool Brushes
- SynthMaster Sounds Set 1 (with audio demos)
- Android Band-in-a-Box® App (included)
Looking for more great add-ons, then upgrade to the 2026 49-PAK for just $49 and you'll get:
- 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums with 20 RealStyle.
- FLAC Files (lossless audio files) for the 20 Bonus Unreleased RealTracks and RealDrums
- MIDI Styles Set 93: Look Ma! More MIDI 16: SynthMaster
- MIDI SuperTracks Set 47: More SynthMaster
- Instrumental Studies 25 - Soul Jazz Guitar Soloing
- Artist Performance Set 20: Songs with Vocals 10
- RealDrums Stems Set 10: Groovin' Sticks
- SynthMaster Sounds & Styles Set 2 (sounds & styles with audio demos)
Learn more about the Bonus PAKs for Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®!
Video: New User Interface (GUI)
Join Tobin as he takes you on a tour of the new user interface in Band-in-a-Box® 2026 for Windows®! This modern GUI redesign offers a sleek new look with updated toolbars, refreshed windows, and a smoother workflow. The brand-new side toolbar puts track selection, the MultiPicker Library, and other essential tools right at your fingertips. Plus, our upgraded Multi-View lets you layer multiple windows without overlap, giving you a highly flexible workspace. Many windows—including Tracks, Piano Roll, and more—have been redesigned for improved usability and a cleaner, more intuitive interface, and more!
Watch the video.
You can see all the 2026 videos on our forum!
Introducing XPro Styles PAK 10 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
We've just released XPro Styles PAK 10 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) with 100 brand new RealStyles, plus 28 RealTracks and RealDrums!
Few things are certain in life: death, taxes, and a brand spankin’ new XPro Styles PAK! In this, the 10th edition of our XPro Styles PAK series, we’ve got 100 styles coming your way! We have the classic 25 styles each from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, and rounding out this volume's wildcard slot is 25 styles in the Praise & Worship genre! A wide spanning genre, you can find everything from rock, folk, country, and more underneath its umbrella. The included 28 RealTracks and RealDrums can be used with any Band-in-a-Box® 2026 (and higher) package.
Here’s just a small sampling of what you can look forward to in XPro Styles PAK 10: Soft indie folk worship songs, bumpin’ country boogies, gospel praise breaks, hard rockin’ pop, funky disco grooves, smooth Latin jazz pop, bossa nova fusion, western swing, alternative hip-hop, cool country funk, and much more!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the XPro Styles PAKs 1 - 10 are on sale for only $29 ea (Reg. $49 ea), or get them all in the XPro Styles PAK Bundle for only $149 (reg. $299)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of XPro Styles PAKs.
Video: XPro Styles PAK 10 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
XPro Styles PAKs require Band-in-a-Box® 2025 or higher and are compatible with ANY package, including the Pro, MegaPAK, UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, and Audiophile Edition.
Introducing Xtra Styles PAK 21 – Now Available for Windows Band-in-a-Box 2025 and Higher!
Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Windows & Mac Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher) is here with 200 brand new RealStyles!
We're excited to bring you our latest Xtra Styles PAK installment—the all new Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box version 2025 (and higher)!
Rejoice, one and all, for Xtra Styles PAK 21 for Band-in-a-Box® is here! We’re serving up 200 brand spankin’ new styles to delight your musical taste buds! The first three courses are the classics you’ve come to know and love, including offerings from the rock & pop, jazz, and country genres, but, not to be outdone, this year’s fourth course is bro country! A wide ranging genre, you can find everything from hip-hop, uptempo outlaw country, hard hitting rock, funk, and even electronica, all with that familiar bro country flair. The dinner bell has been rung, pickup up Xtra Styles PAK 21 today!
In this PAK you’ll discover: Energetic folk rock, raucous train beats, fast country boogies, acid jazz grooves, laid-back funky jams, a bevy of breezy jazz waltzes, calm electro funk, indie synth pop, industrial synth metal, and more bro country than could possibly fit in the back of a pickup truck!
Special offers until December 31st, 2025!
All the Xtra Styles PAKs 1 - 21 are on special for only $29 each (reg $49), or get all 21 PAKs for $199 (reg $399)! Order now!
Learn more and listen to demos of the Xtra Styles PAK 21.
Video: Xtra Styles PAK 21 Overview & Styles Demos: Watch now!
Note: The Xtra Styles require the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition of Band-in-a-Box®. (Xtra Styles PAK 21 requires the 2025 or higher UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition. They will not work with the Pro or MegaPAK version because they need the RealTracks from the UltraPAK, UltraPAK+, or Audiophile Edition.
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