|
Log in to post
|
Print Thread |
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Finally got a new large laptop for Xmas and now able to load in last year's BIAB Ultra as may old laptop was too small and slow. Anyway, wrote my first song of 2019 and hopefully off to a good start. https://soundcloud.com/belladonna-amaya/if-karma-were-flowersTitle: If Karma Were Flowers DJE 1/01/19 Verse 1 Hot summer nights and fireflys We’ld lie in fields of clover Watching the night sky Planning our lives forever You’ld say “You’re my Soulmate” Finally found you after years Soon realized you were click bait Facing my worst fears Chorus If karma were flowers I’ld send you a bunch Year’s I tried to love you There was no free lunch I’ld wire a bouquet of sours Cold dried crispy crunch Payback for all the hours If karma were flowers Verse 2 Your promises were engaging An invasive creeper you entwined Your deceptions were enraging You would always spin my whines You were a daydream believer And I was on life’s treadmill It wore me down like a fever Till I woke up to the real Chorus Bridge I’ll blossom in the tropics Just me soaking up the sun I’m healing from your toxics Don’t call me on the phone Chorus RealBand Style ZZPBAL12.STY Thanks for listening in advance. Likes most appreciated. Constructive comments always welcome.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,323
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Apr 2016
Posts: 6,323 |
Love the free lunch reference.
To my ears the vocal is too dry and too far "above" the backing.
I have to admit some surprise at the choice of a midi style - your earthy voice would've sent tme straight to the Realstyles in Ultra.
Regardless,
it's a fabulous title, the lyric has some excellent snappy cuts and it's a start for 2019 I've not accomplished.
Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 433
Journeyman
|
|
Journeyman
Joined: Apr 2014
Posts: 433 |
Hi Belladonna,
Your songs got the feel of a Dear
John letter, with most of the
good furniture missing...
There's cleaning house and
there's cleaning house...
So the vocals & lyrics
fit the mood... with this
song left on a beat up old
computer... with a note saying
"Play"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,800
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 6,800 |
Donna, Great song. I like the vocal approach as well. You have a very unique sound that fits the lyric very well. You are off to a good start  Bob
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Jun 2000
Posts: 1,944 |
You're off to a good start for a brand new year... Here's hoping 2019 will be good to you & you won't have send out any "karma flowers" ... Instead you'll be using your new laptop to write many more fun & lovely songs!
Jim
†=☮&♥
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,841
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Aug 2014
Posts: 7,841 |
Hey Donna, Really great song, song idea, and production. Super lyrics. Happy New Year and keep the hits coming!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,360
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Nov 2012
Posts: 2,360 |
Nice write
I especially like the chorus
creative lyrics
enjoyed the listen,
Kenny
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,193
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,193 |
Donna: I gotta get this out my "craw": I wish I could write lyrics as you do. They are as inevitable and orderly as breathing in, breathing out. They communicate almost immediately the subject matter of your songs, and they tell stories as easily as opening a kitchen window to hear what's going on over at your neighbor's house, but without being excessively linear in narrative. "If Karma Were Flowers" is a beautiful title, literarily speaking, and as barbed as a rose stem, metaphorically speaking. The subject of your song who is on the receiving end of your politely poisionous put-downs sounds like a real charmer with a mirror for a heart. But, then again, it's the "bad boys" who so often get the girl that they make "nice" guys wish they were bad, too! Nonetheless, my favorite lines are: "Hot summer nights and fire-flies..." A vivid evocation of place. And then: "You would always spin my whines..." Character, character, character. Is there a novel waiting to be born out of this song? Also: "I'd wire a bouquet of sours
Cold dried crispy crunch..." Loving the alliteration, here! The final image of you licking your romantic wounds on some island hide-away, brings as much closure as an open door, because you only instruct him not to call you on the phone, instead of asking him to leave you alone. Hmmmm...  You chose a simple BIAB style, but its very spareness perfectly supports the lonesome, weary, "I've had enough of you, bub" tone in your voice. When all is said and done, Donna, "If Karma Were Flowers" is like a snapshot of a relationship that can only be viewed in the upside-down position, which makes the picture worth more than the proverbial "thousand words". I look forward to your posts like someone waiting for a phone call! Truly, LOREN
Last edited by bluage; 01/02/19 10:49 AM.
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,193
Expert
|
|
Expert
Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 1,193 |
Hi Belladonna,
Your songs got the feel of a Dear
John letter, with most of the
good furniture missing...
There's cleaning house and
there's cleaning house...
So the vocals & lyrics
fit the mood... with this
song left on a beat up old
computer... with a note saying
"Play" Hey, "LPman"... Love your clever comment on "Belladonna's" song! LOREN
"Music is what feelings sound like."-- borrowed from a Cakewalk Music Creator forum member, "Mamabear".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks Rayc for your critique. I must say you really have a great ear as you are so right I have been having a little problem with my voice. Winter is so drying and allergies have been making my voice a little hoarse. The vocals also may have been a little bit too loud. However in my opinion it all fits so well the prosody of the song. A sort of dry, hoarse vocals and dried, dead, crispy, crunchy bouquet to the recipient. Also a little loud and my choice of the unemotional lazy lounge music style ballad is a perfect delivery to the person who deserves it. What do they always say "Revenge is a dessert best served cold".
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks LP Man for reminding me of the Dear John letters. It is so fitting.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks Bob, always appreciate your take on things as I always love your lyrics.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks for your comment Jim. This song was definitely alot of fun and I hope to be able to get more songs done on BIAB since now I have no excuse and it's calling out my name. Looking forward to hearing all you guys this year.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks David, always appreciate your comments as I always enjoy your songs so much.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Thanks Kenny for your wonderful comments. Looking for hearing everyone's songs this year.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Bluage, your comments are always so gracious and poetry in motion. Thanks again for your wonderful comments and looking forward to seeing everyone's creativity this year.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,956
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 18,956 |
Nice write
I especially like the chorus
creative lyrics
enjoyed the listen,
Kenny Hi Donna, I agree wholeheartedly with Kenny. Like him, I also especially liked the chorus. That rhyme of flowers and sours is excellent and you've set it up so very well. Regards, Noel
MY SONGS...Audiophile BIAB 2024
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723
Journeyman
|
|
OP
Journeyman
Joined: Sep 2017
Posts: 723 |
Noel Thanks for your kind comments.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
User Showcase
|
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604
Veteran
|
|
Veteran
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 7,604 |
Beautiful lyric and vocal Donna. I really like the sparse piano backtrack. Gave the song a very cool lamenting feel. Well done..
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Ask sales and support questions about Band-in-a-Box using natural language.
ChatPG's knowledge base includes the full Band-in-a-Box User Manual and sales information from the website.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 Italian for Windows is Here!
Ci siamo dati da fare e abbiamo aggiunto oltre 50 nuove funzionalità e una straordinaria raccolta di nuovi contenuti, tra cui 222 RealTracks, nuovi RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, Playable RealTracks Set 3, Playable RealDrums Set 2, due nuovi set di "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 e altro ancora!
Tutti Pacchetti | Nuove Caratteristiche
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 French for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 apporte plus de 50 fonctions nouvelles ainsi qu'une importante de contenus nouveaux à savoir : 222 RealTracks, des RealStyles nouveaux, des SuperTracks MIDI, des Etudes d'Instruments, des Prestations d'Artistes, des "Morceaux avec Choeurs", un Set 3 de Tracks Jouables, un Set 2 de RealDrums Jouables, deux nouveaux Sets de "RealDrums Stems", des Styles XPro PAK 6, des Xtra Styles PAK 17 et bien plus encore!
Tous Packages | Nouvelles Fonctionnalités
Video: Making a Song with Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V
Take your Band-in-a-Box® project to a whole new level when you incorporate ChatGPT and Synth V to add lyrics and vocals to your song!
We wanted to demonstrate how this is done with our video, where we show you how to go from nothing to a finished "radio ready" modern pop song by combining the features of Band-in-a-Box®, ChatGPT, and Synth V!
Listen to the finished song, so you get a listen to the finished product: https://demos.pgmusic.com/misc/behindthefame.m4a
If you like it, watch the video. Either way, let's hear your comments!
Henry Clarke: Revolutionize Your Band-in-Box® Tracks with Regenerating Function
User Video: Next-Level AI Music Editing with ACE Studio and Band-in-a-Box®
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 German for Windows is Here!
Band-in-a-Box® 2024 für Windows Deutsch ist verfügbar!
Wir waren fleißig und haben über 50 neue Funktionen und eine erstaunliche Sammlung neuer Inhalte hinzugefügt, darunter 222 RealTracks, neue RealStyles, MIDI SuperTracks, Instrumental Studies, "Songs with Vocals" Artist Performance Sets, abspielbare RealTracks Set 3, abspielbare RealDrums Set 2, zwei neue Sets von "RealDrums Stems", XPro Styles PAK 6, Xtra Styles PAK 17 und mehr!
Paket | Was ist Neu
Update Your PowerTracks Pro Audio 2024 Today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Forums66
Topics81,941
Posts739,192
Members38,624
| |
Most Online2,537
Jan 19th, 2020
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Dansk
Deutsch - Windows
Español
Français - Windows
Italiano - Windows
Nederlands
Polski
Português
Svenskt
русский
Japanese
Simplified Chinese
Traditional Chinese
Korean