A very enjoyable song! As rayc said, the "Sachmo" voice was great! laugh

I hope you don't mind my comments are mostly on pronouncing the words - clarity is important, especially when you've got such interesting imagery. For example, I thought the first words of the song were "North Dakota" until I read the lyrics.

You're doing better with your vowel selection, but if you were to re-sing it (which I'm not suggesting you do) there are some places where I think you could fix. For example, "weeps" should be a long E "wEEps", not "wIHps", and "clothes" should be "klOWz", not "kLOWzIHz".

"Waiting for your space craft" wasn't imagery that I expected, although you paired it up with "spaceman on the moon".

I love the scatting at 1:40. For a song already filled with incongruity, this is icing on an already yummy cake.

"Awaiting for your dusty bus" can simply be "waiting for your dusty bus" (nice inner rhyme, by the way).

I heard "Looking for handsome grooms" as "Looking for cancer rooms", which makes no more (or less) sense, I guess. wink

You're getting better about not putting "UH" on the end of words, but it sneaks in, like on the end of "Those" in "Those whispers". The easiest way to fix it would be to cut it off it off the end of the words in the audio editor, if your DAW lets you do that.

Your songs are really fun to listen to. smile

-- David Cuny
My virtual singer development blog

Vocal control, you say. Never heard of it. Is that some kind of ProTools thing?