Tom,
interesting perspective, and I respect your path.
I will miss your new posts, hopefully not for too "very" long. I believe creating music is like a breathing.
You breathed out, you need time to breathe in smile

Before I joined this forum, I have wrote over 100 songs. Some are total crap, some actually I still like.
To be open, my reasons for being here are probably selfish. Most of my tunes prior to 2017 were in Russian. I want to learn writing tunes in English and this forum had been very friendly to me. I got to meet interesting people, listen and learn. Another aspect is that some members here have a very strong musical background and if I get lost in something like BIAB, lyrics, mixing etc., there are always someone kind enough to help. There is no bullying (almost) and no pressure.

What I am trying to say is, try to change your perspective of this forum. Think of it as a sanctuary, not a competition battleground. And may creative spirits find you.

peace,
Misha.