Will,
it's a cool song and a good story too.
A couple of nits...
The 12 string riff is too loud.
The intro is a little too long.
Vocally you remind me of Jim (James Whilde) Lee of Slade - he has a similar tone & phrasing, (and he has a superb solo album).
The female vocals are cool too.


Cheers
rayc
"What's so funny about peace, love & understanding?" - N.Lowe