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I put this in the wrong forum....I'm an idiot. Well.... It's been a while but I've just finished up this one for now. I've been six weeks on it so I need a break and thought I'd throw this into the forum and see how the mix translates on your system.....even if you think the song sucks. smile My recording space is small so I only have my Tascam S1010m's near fields....Rockit 8's are in storage. Subject?....my brief take on no such thing as a perfect world. Drums - BIAB Lead Guitar - BIAB....Mark Knopfler style Congas - Me on Roland MBD-1 Bass - Me on MBD-1 Rhythm guitar - ME on acoustic Vocals/harmonies - Me (sorry :)) I'm always subconscious about my vocals.....but, we work with what we have (or have not). I kept it instrumentally lean intentionally....not my normal approach, I might add. It has this swampy, haunting sort of rhythm to it. It's too early to say I'm actually done with it. I always revisit trying to make the vocal performance better. To any that gave a listen....I thank you and hope it was worthy of your time. I know....."one best have the skin of a snow tire" if one puts their efforts out for the world to scrutinize". I'm trying to recall the forum member turkey that always says that. smile Carry on.... https://soundcloud.com/chulaivet1966/youre-looking-for-a-worldhttps://www.soundclick.com/html5/v4/player.cfm?songID=13837279"You're Looking For A World" Verse 1 Looking for a world without locks or keys. Looking for a world without cops or thieves. Realize it’s just a bright illusion. Verse 2 Looking for a world, no stress and no strain. You want to know pleasure, you need to feel pain. Desperate to believe Utopian delusions. Chorus (music only) Verse 3 A prisoner needs his bible, the cripple needs his cane. You’re living in a dream, through a fog in a maze. Slaved to a fantasy and just can’t escape it. Lead (verse music & chorus music) Verse 4 If you're living in the jungle, learn to run and where to hide. Life is always a struggle to survive or you die. It’s bitter...it's sweet, accept and embrace it. Chorus (music only) Vamp to end
Last edited by chulaivet1966; 02/03/19 12:40 PM.
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I think it sounds like a finished song and I really like it. It is a very nice chord progression and there's a good overall dynamic between your voice and the instruments. It wouldn't have hurt if you had continued with the line "You're Looking For A World" a few times more towards the end of the song, because it is a great groove...  Very good job and I'm glad that you chose to share it with us. Will NB: You might want to fix the link to SoundCloud as it does not work correctly. Fortunately the link to SoundClick is fine!
Last edited by Will Josef; 02/03/19 12:38 PM.
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I think it sounds like a finished song and I really like it. It is a very nice chord progression and there's a good overall dynamic between your voice and the instruments. It wouldn't have hurt if you had continued with the line "You're Looking For A World" a few times more towards the end of the song, because it is a great groove... Very good job and I'm glad that you chose to share it with us. Howdy Will...(link fixed in original post...I'm an idiot) Thanks for chiming in and the kind words. I know my material is not in the main stream here so I appreciate the listen and commenting. Funny you say that....I took out two of the "Looking for a world" phrases last night just before I exported to MP3 because I thought I was overstating the lyrical motif. Plus, I thought it would allow more focus on the lead guitar part. The 'groove' worked well according to my aural receptors too....I got lucky. Thanks again Will....
Last edited by chulaivet1966; 02/03/19 12:49 PM.
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The lyrics seem quite poignant. Thanks for taking the time to share.
Cheers,
Ember
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You've written a good song here...
Good lyrics...
Good vocal...
Good background tracks...
Good feel...
Good flow...
I enjoyed listening to your song.
Jim
†=☮&♥
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Nice job on this! The guitar work on this insane, and I personally really enjoyed your vocals on this. They sound natural, and laid back. It fits the mood of the song perfectly, and is a great instrument to delivery the lyrics. I think you did an excellent job all around - thanks for sharing
Cheers,
Deryk
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Howdy Ember.... Chuckle.....yes....one could say the lyrics are "poignant". Fleshing out the lyrics wasn't an easy task. It never is for me. Howdy Jim.... Thanks for the break down of very kind words. Of course, the subject may not be appealing to many. But...I just called it as I see it. Deryk.... You're too kind also. I always think my voice sounds like a dull chain saw so I thank you for the vocal comments. Thanks again to all for giving it a spin even though the subject is less than conventional. Hence, I gave it some thought for a while prior to posting it. Then I thought....'what the heck'. A good day to all....carry on.
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Nice one Will, well produced, sung and arranged
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Furry....
Thanks for taking the time to give it a spin and kind comments....it's appreciated.
Hope all is well.
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The mix sounds good to me. Your rhythm guitar sounds great and the Knopfler guitar fits well in this song. I had no problem with the vocals. Sounds fine. Thanks for putting the song in the right place, wo we all can have a listen.
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Sounds good, Wayne.
Nothing wrong with those vocals... bring them up a little...
fj
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Ezekiel's Storm... Howdy.....thanks for listening and the kind words. This song writing stuff is not easy for a creative wannabe like myself. Floyd.... Huh!...."bring 'em up a little"?....my vocals! You're scaring me. I been pondering over the last few months if I had any original song ideas left being on the cusp of 72. Then....then the phrase "You're Looking For A World" popped into my pea brain.....and here I am. Thank you both for spinning and generous words.....all is appreciated. Carry on....
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Wayne,
a gem! I liked it very much. Especially how you worked out pretty complex song into steady and easy to grasp chord progression. Guitar solo is great!
P.S. I agree with FJ, with upping vocals a bit.
Thank you for sharing!
Misha.
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Misha....
Thanks for giving a listen and glad you found it worthy of your time.
One never knows what others will think of their song so I did have to muster up some courage to post it.
OK...I'll revisit the vocals per suggestions in the next day or so.
I've been so immersed in this one it continues to ramble around in (what's left of) my neurons.
Thanks again....
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Cool song!! I think the vocal could be a little louder with a bit more high end and less verb. Some really good lines in this! Nice arrangement and playing. Good job! Take care. Greg
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Cool song!! I think the vocal could be a little louder with a bit more high end and less verb. Some really good lines in this! Nice arrangement and playing. Good job! Take care. Greg Howdy Greg.... Damn nice of you to take the time to give it a listen. You are #3 that state the lead vox needs a db or so of volume. So...I plan on revisiting this one over the weekend. I'm still trying not to think about this one for a few days. (can we say 'OCD') I'm sure I'm the only song writer here who experiences this odd internal conflict. Thanks again....much appreciated.
Last edited by chulaivet1966; 02/07/19 01:03 PM.
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Great groove, the RT guitar and your guitar work really well together. I like the early Dire Straits feel of the song, also some Knopfler in your voice.
Janne
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Howdy jannesan....
I wasn't sure what I wanted for the lead track as I was putting the song together.
I fumbled around in Real Band and stumbled on the Dire Straits lead and I didn't look any further.....it just seemed to fit well with the 'groove'.
Thank you for taking the time to listen and comment.
A good day to all....
Last edited by chulaivet1966; 02/08/19 07:16 AM.
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Hi Wayne
Song
some nice images in the lyric
structure is simple and effective
Overall impression
Nice Dire Straits feel
Mix / Production
all sounded clear and well mixed - apart from the intensity and placement of vocals as has been mentioned by others
Instrumentation
simple and effective choices here
Vocals
a bit buried in the mix, but otherwise its well sung
What I really liked
Nice Dire Straits feel
Cool lead guitar playing (and not overplaying!)
What you might like to return to
the rhyme pattern is overstretched (by the time we get to ‘delusions’ we’ve already forgotten ‘illusion’ etc)
Funnily enough I have one on an almost identical similar theme !! and with pretty much the same conclusions!!
I won’t post the link here but those who are interested can just search my Sound Cloud for ‘Perfect World’
All the best, Marc.
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Howdy Marc.... Thanks for listening and the detailed comments/observations. I appreciate them all and see your point regarding the perceived 'overstretching' description. I'll have to avoid that oversight on my next one. Originally, I had completed lyrics written for the chorus which I was pleased with. But...just before posting the mix I assessed the song again. Hmmmm.....I culled them all and decided they were unnecessary and verbose with respect to the 'theme'. (I'll use then in another tune :)) I know, my subject choice for this one is not a mainstream one. Hence, I'll always be a song writing bottom feeder. Thanks again....
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